Field of Innocence - My Deepest Thought

I'm back blogger

2011-02-18T10:55:00.002+08:00

Hello.. I'M BACK!!!

I'm moving to Tumblr

2010-08-19T09:19:00.000+08:00

Hello, Salam, and Hi.

Dear friends,

I'm moving to Tumblr. If you have one, please click the link to follow me.

Yours,
Siti Nadirah Abdul Rahim

2010-08-11T11:24:00.001+08:00

@ Pantai Batu Burok. 7am in the morning. Words - @evanescence all that im living for http://twitpic.com/29618i

– nad_naadirah

World Cup : 3rd Place - GERMANY \o/

2010-07-11T13:01:00.006+08:00

Salam & Hi..

Germany! Yeah. My favorite team since 2002 nye world cup. Tahun ni german mendapat tempat ketiga... Walaupun xberjaya ke final saya bangga dengan kesungguhan pemain muda german... All the best... Harap2 world cup 2014 nanti german akan menjadi team yang digeruni... maklumlah.... dorang mmg world class nye player.. semua tu dah dibuktikan oleh they all semalam... walaupun ramai muka baru, dengan ballack yang takde sebab ankle injury.... THEY PROVED THAT THEY'RE THE BEST TEAM..

Saya suka style german main, through pass... long pass... GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Pemain fevret saya utk world cup kali ni of course la Ozil... Pemain yang rajin di padang. but pagi tadi cam penat je Ozil main... Cam x larat..

K, jom kita preview game2 germany.

13/06 Germany 4 - 0 Australia

18/06 Germany 0 - 1 Serbia

23/06 Ghana 0 - 1 Germany

27/06 Germany 4 - 1 England

03/07 Argentina 0 - 4 Germany

07/07 Germany 0 - 1 Spain

10/07 Uruguay 2 - 3 Germany

I miss you, my 'close' fren

2010-07-04T15:06:00.003+08:00

Hi, YOU. If YOU read my blog, i just want to tell YOU that i miss YOU so much. I don't really understand what happened to us. All that i can see is, everytime we're together we're seem comfortable. Then if it's not, why did YOU say that, "you're my closest fren". I am so confused with the way that YOU behaved. I'm trying hard to figure out what happened but you won't give me a clue.

I have said all the thing that i could say to YOU and hoping that i will make YOU better. But then you make me so weak, down and depressed with YOUr attitudes toward me.

I knew that i'm not a perfect person but i am YOUr friend who will always stand up for you when YOU need someone. YOU must hate me now but i'm ok with it. I'm dealing with it.

As for me, you'll always one of my friend. Even longer.

"I want you to listen to me very carefully, Harry. You're not a bad person. You're a very good person who bad things have happened to, you understand? Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside of us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are."

Sirius Black to Harry Potter

Why All My Friends Are So Shady Lately?

2010-06-29T13:59:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum n hi. Dah lama x berblogging. Banyak kerja. Hmm. Ok, sekarang saya rasa macam ada something yang xkena, xtau la apa but my friends are so shady lately. It's loook like i've done a big mistake, i keep wondering why.

And i took a first step by asking my friends what was happened because i can't hold it anymore. The second step is i'm asking for forgiveness, if i ever did something wrong to them. All that i get back was disappointment. Argh...

Actually i hate this dwindle thing. i would never do such things to my friend. If it's their mistake i will confront n tell them.. Holding it in only causes the friendship to dwindle. And always being honest with your friends and besties. Don't lie. It will only ruin your friendship. I love all my friends more than i love my loved one.

I'm not afraid to say i'm sorry (well, it's something that you should do, even though it's not your fault). Some people are to weak to survive their mistake, so they keep pushing us away from their life. A good friend will always there for you.

So it's time to pick, to choose a good friend, a friend that will through a thick and thin with you, a friend that will always stand up for you.

So my dear friends, this poem is for you :

forgiveness is the mightiest sword

forgiveness of those you fear

is the highest reward

when they bruise you with words

when they make you feel small

when it's the hardest to take

you must do nothing at all -- Jane Evre

Hi - 29 April 2010

2010-04-29T11:23:00.002+08:00

I've been talked a lot lately. hmm... maybe i'm too bored, or maybe im stressed. Yeah, that's the right answer.

I'm so stressed that i neglected myself too. I TRY to write a song about my feeling, but all i get is RUBBISH. Neither i homesick nor missing someone. It's because of the thing that i'm doing now. WORKLOADS. I even dreamt about my work in my nightmare.I feel so bad.

I miss Liyana too. She's ignored all of my tweets, she didn't even reply my sms. I know that she mad at me because i broke the promise. I'm so sorry, im so busy that i didn't even have much time to spent with you. I miss u, bff.

I don't know what to do. To all of my friends, i'm sorry..

Original - Final Time

2010-04-25T23:10:00.004+08:00

Hmm. This one i wrote for someone. Created on February 2nd of 2010. I'm using this Jemi (Jemi stands for Joe Jonas & Demi Lovato) because they're not an item at the time. Haha, too bad that they were a couple now.

Original - Lie

2010-04-25T23:03:00.006+08:00

This poem created on March 9th of 2010. It's about lying. You can cheated or brag something that u didnt even have. Lie can give u fame (just like some fake celeb did) and everything, but lie can caused u emptiness and others.

Aku yang kebosanan

2010-04-25T22:33:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum and hi. Sebenarnya dah lama x berblogging kerana saya banyak habiskan masa saya di twitter. Kadang2 saya bukak blog saya ni semata2 nk tengok balik poem2 saya. oh ya, bila baca balik poem2 saya tu, banyak jugak mistake yg saya buat. maklumlah, saya taip on the spot. fyi, saya still active ber poem.

Life saya kebelakangan ni, hmm... agak stress. Pressure xtentu pasal je skrg. haha. but saya cuba untuk bersabar maklumlah saya ni agak panas baran sikit.

I think im doing well except for some reason dat im so stress of doing things dat im doing now.

So, i have to drop a dot here. Another dot, bye everyone. Goodnite

Salam

2010-02-24T09:32:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum & Pagi...

Hari ini saya kembali lagi ke laman blog saya setelah sekian lama saya meninggalkan dunia blogging. hehe. Hmm.. Banyak benda yang berlaku kebelakangan ni sehingga saya bersara sekejap dari dunia blogging. Maklumlah, social networking semakin rancak and rock dengan kehadiranTwitter. Twitter merupakan laman sosial dimana anda boleh mengupdate status anda didalam 140 char sahaja. Tapi serius, mmg best dan saya pun addicted to twitter. Haha.

Kerja? Macam biasalah, sama aje dengan yang lepas2. Life pulak, kadang2 hepi, kadang2 x. Ok la, setakat ni saja. saya nak continue kerja. Bye

Testing... aku punye hasil kerja terbaru

2010-01-08T09:50:00.001+08:00

I love my job

2009-09-26T09:17:00.009+08:00

Saya sebenarnye suke dengan kerja saya kat SKALI (SWS). Masa dulu2, sy still dalam team matrix, saya handle content utk laman web Economic Planning Unit. Agensi ni dibawah Jabatan Perdana Menteri...

Saya ada la buat script sikit2 untuk enhancekan content, ada gak enhance image, create org chart, dan benda2 lain... suke tau buat kerja ni...

Sebelum tu, saya handle laman web PEMUDAH. Masa tu kami guna platform JBoss, dan saya work closely dengan internal developer, tapi cam saya je banyak wat keje die... hihi.. Xpe, cari pengalaman kan? Saya memang suka bidang IT, dan cita-cita saya adalah untuk menjadi web programmer. Tapi saya ni x terer sangat programming, sikit2 tu boleh la.... Banyak lagi kena belajar.

Saya akui saya banyak merungut masa wat kerja, maklumlah, kadang2 kena wat kerja orang... Tapi saya akui saya pun suke wat kerja orang.. Ahakzzz... hihi.. Becoz saya leh belajar dan improve knowledge saya... Hihi.. Okehla, nak mandi lak.. Pasni teman mak gi raye....... Babai...

PS. Click here -->

Done with Makeup Crew website

2009-09-23T23:04:00.010+08:00

I'm done wif makeup-crew website. Huhu.. but i'm still reviewing it. So Mimie, any comment, please send it to me...

Fyi, it's 100 %, developed by me, including designs.

P/S : I noe it quite berterabur.. tapi tuan nye website x tengok lagi tu... and kebanyakannnya requirement dari tuan website

PS. Click here --> to "follow" Nad on Twitter.

Salam Lebaran

2009-09-15T16:08:00.004+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt. Saya ingin mengucapkan Selamat Menyambut Hari Raya Aidilfitri bagi tahun 2009. Kepada kawan-kawan,jemputlah ke rumah saya di Kampung Padang Sena Sg Rengas, K. Terengganu.

Disini saya menyusun sepuluh jari, memohon maaf sekiranya ada berlaku kesilapan sepanjang perkenalan kita semua.

Ok, berhati2 semasa memandu...

PS : Terengganu, I'm coming

PS. Click here --> to "follow" Nad on Twitter.

Two World Collide - Demi Lovato

2009-09-15T11:44:00.006+08:00

She was given the world

So much that she couldn't see
And she needed someone
To show her who she could be

And she tried to survive
Wearing her heart on her sleeve
But I needed you to believe

You had your dreams, I had mine
You had your fears, I was fine
It showed me what I couldn't find
When two different worlds collide
La da-da da-da!

She was scared of it all
Watching from far away
And she was given a role
Never knew just when to play

And she tried to survive
Living her life on her own
Always afraid of the throne
But you've given me strength to find hope!

You had your dreams, I had mine
You had your fears, I was fine
It showed me what I couldn't find
When two different worlds collide

She was scared, unprepared
And lost in the dark, falling apart
I can survive with you by my side
We're gonna be alright
(We're gonna be alright)
This is what happens when two worlds collide

You had your dreams, I had mine
You had your fears, I was fine
It showed me what I couldn't find
When two different worlds collide
La da-da da-da!

You had your dreams, I had mine
(You had your dreams, I had mine)
You had your fears, I was fine
It showed me what I couldn't find
When two different worlds collide
When two different worlds collide

PS. Click here --> to "follow" Nad on Twitter.

New Hamster

2009-09-10T08:38:00.010+08:00

Hihi... I've got a new hamster!!! Tapi hamster ni sebijik tikus dalam rattatouile (sorry kalau spelling error)... Hamster ni sebenarnya k.Haz punye... tapi mungkin dia xlarat nak jaga kot.. Thanks ye k.Haz, hamster ni nakal sangat macam k.Haz... Pagi tadi saya dah cuci cage dia... Dah cuci semua dah...

PS. Click here --> to "follow" Nad on Twitter.

A Walk To Remember

2009-09-06T16:35:00.004+08:00

Yesterday i'm having a walk at Tasik Titiwangsa with my 'Beastie'. We havent chat/talk that serious for a few months. Thanks for having my back and thanks for telling me the truth.

We were walking for a few minutes. Well, meaningful few minutes!!! Thanks again. It's a good day we've spent together. Thanks. :)

Finally

2009-09-06T16:21:00.000+08:00

Akhirnya saya berjaya menukar design.. Simple tapi saya puas hati.. haha...

Again...

2009-09-04T14:59:00.001+08:00

Sebenarnya saya baru je tukar design baru.. Tapi xjadi... design yang sy buat tu buruk sangat. nape ek

Awak...

2009-09-04T13:54:00.003+08:00

Awak...
Janganlah permainkan perasaan orang
Awak tu dah berpunya. Awak tahu tak? Dalam masa yang sama, awak dah rosakkan hubungan orang lain. Sedangkan awak dengan teman awak bahagia. Kenapa awak nak beritahu dia yang awak anggap dia special sikit.

Awak bosan ke? Bf awak tak bahagiakan awak ke? Awak pun kenal saya. Awak pun tahu dia dah ada saya. Kalau betul awak kawan je, kenapa layan dia macam tu. Dia pun salah sebab layan awak macam tu... Kenapa?

Tau tak dalam hati saya sakit sangat dengan semua benda yang orang buat dibelakang saya? Dulu saya happy sangat. Dia pun ambil berat pasal saya, tapi sejak awak ada, dia tak macam dulu. Dia selalu hampakan saya.

Awak... kami dah ada relationship yang betul2 strong masa tu walaupun relationship awak sendiri lebih lama dari saya. Saya pernah jadi macam awak.. Tapi saya ingatkan diri saya yang saya dah ada dia...

Dahlah awak... Tak de apa lagi saya nak tulis kat sini

The Difference (My Original Poem)

2009-08-03T11:34:00.014+08:00

My pace is slowly now...

And yours?

I do not realize you walked so fast

Left me behind you...
I am not running.
I am not.

It's not a real goodbye
But my heart is tearing

The look in your eyes has changed
"Goodbye," 'til we see each other again
You're not turning back...
You're not

Walk alone
Like I always did
Maybe....
One day, i will understand what this mean...

My Immortal

2009-07-27T11:27:00.001+08:00

Amy shivered as she entered the stage. Ben smiled at her as she walk up, centre-stage. She smiled back nervously, whisps of her long black hair running with the wind.

It was a cold October evening, and thousands of fans practically shoved hemselves onto the stage to touch Amy’s hand. To feel as if their dream of seeing her in person had become a reality. As much as she loved the creaming
of voices trying to catch up to her as she sang, the signs cheering all of the
members of Evanescence on, there was one person missing. He never bothered to show up at any of their shows, as Ben reminded her every time it came for a sound check; Amy still believed he would come. But he never did.

As much as she tried to hide her sadness, Ben could see through the fake smiles she gave the press. He hated seeing Amy this way, so hurt that it was tearing her apart. She often came to him, crying over every single fight she had with this man. She never said his name, and that was okay with Ben. Amy was entitled to her privacy as much as he was. His mind wandered as she danced in front of him, more like a gypsy than a rock star.

I wish I could be the one to hold you in the night, wipe away the tears from your eyes. You are a sweet fallen angel, dark as you may be, I love you anyways…

She finally stopped as they disappeared for their surprising final act. Amy
seemed distraught. Ben approached her, with the deepest look of concern in his eyes that he had ever shown before.

“Amy?”

“Ben, I really can’t talk about it now. The show must go on. I promise, I’ll tell you later.” Her eyes were glistening with tears, and Ben watched her climb up the stairs leading to the stage, trembling as she walked.

“Hey, how about the last one song?” The crowd burst into a screaming chorus of yes, which made her grin. “But what about my curfew?” Amy put on a slight whine to her voice. “Oh, alright. Let’s keep rocking on!!” she answered with a warm chuckle to the practically outraged swarm of fans.

The band broke into “Whisper” as she sang in a voice that could hardly be heard.

“I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away, If I will it all away…” Amy sang in her mostly bad sound.

She threw herself into the music, forgetting all about her pain and loss. It was the band that mattered, the fans, the music. Amy loved it all, and Ben truly would see it in her eyes as she breathed the ending in four/four time. The rest of the evening was a blur. The autographs, the smiles, it all seemed like Ben was taking it in a single glance.

“Amy, what’s wrong? You promised to tell me, please?”

“Ben, it’s over. He dumped me. I was always faithful, always true, but he dumped me-” Amy’s voice was cut short by her deep sobs that embraced her entire body. Ben took her into his arms, holding her close, never wanting to let go.

“I’m so sorry, Amy.” He breathed in the blink of an eye.

“Ben? What’s that over there?” She pointed to his bunk, where a piece of music lay. Ben smiled; his little secret would be exposed. He waited forever to let her know that he loved her.

“I need your help with this, Amy.”

He led her to the cubby-hole where they ate, chatted, and most of all, practiced. Amy began singing until she got to the chorus. She wept when she saw the writing in front of her.

“Ben, it’s beautiful. This would definitely be a hit single. Who is it about?”

You, it’s about you. I love you Amy; I wanted to tell you for so long…I love you. Fool, she’ll never understand. I can’t lie to my best friend. I love her too much.

“I don’t know. I always have this burning passion when I write music. It’s so hard to explain.” Amy’s face was dangerously close to his. Ben looked down to his guitar and ran it through once with Amy.

Her voice sounds so angelic when she sings. She has the face of a cherub, even when she’s sleeping. I’d give anything just to be with her…

“Ben? Are you alright?” Amy’s face peered down at him, begging to know what was wrong.

“Amy, I don’t know anymore. I don’t know if I can go on like this. I don’t know if I can carry out with you and the rest of the band. I don’t think I can keep performing every night. I’m so sorry, Amy.” Ben waited for the explosion that he expected to come, that never did.

“Ben, it’s okay. We all have our doubts, just please, stay. Stay with us. Stay with me. Ben, I can’t do this without you.” Amy’s eyes were already bleeding with tears, her black eyeliner running.

“Sssh, please don’t cry. It kills me every time I see you crying. You can do this, Amy. You are a beautiful, strong, and above all unique person. You have a talent to die for. Remember all those kids who said that our music helped us through their dark moments?” Amy nodded through her tears. “Remember that girl from Michigan who said your voice was ‘totally amazing’?” Amy nodded once again.

“You think so little of yourself when there’s so much more to you. I see you up there on stage, with the rest of us pouring our all out behind you. But you give something to every audience that very few artists do: your heart and soul, your life stories, your interpretations to our music. Amy, you are an inspiration. Never let that part of you die. It’s what makes you stand out in that massive room full of people. I am sorry, I really am.” Ben planted a butterfly kiss on Amy’s hand, and slowly exited the bus.

“Ben? Ben!! Please don’t leave!! Not now!! Not with all we have been through as a group. Our smiles, our laughter, our dreams that came true, and our tears. Ben!!” Amy continued to cry out Ben’s name as he walked through yet another crowd of girls standing by the venues and walked out of her life forever.

I’m sorry Amy…I just couldn’t bring
myself to tell you how much I love you. I am so sorry…

“Ben, I wish I knew what was wrong all this time. I wish you had told me. Ben, all these years I never told you how much you’ve meant to me. Being the one to catch me when I fall, hold me when I cry, listen to every single sob story in the book…You mean the world to me. You made me feel like part of this life was real, this surreal life our band has lived. You’re my best friend in the entire world, and I love you. Thank you for everything, Ben. I hope you find the true answer to what you seek out there. This world is so empty, yet you brought it life. You gave me the key to my dreams. I just wish I knew what had been troubling you all this time. I’m sorry I couldn’t have helped you when you needed it. I love you…” Amy whispered after she had run out of tears to cry.

Little did either of them know that Rocky was eavesdropping on their entire
conversation, filming Ben’s exit out of the bus and beyond…

~ And I held your hand through all of these years ~

“Amy? I think we’ve gathered up all of the pictures of Ben, and plus David has some film shots that he thinks might work,” Terry called out.

Amy pulled on the white dress, and smiled at herself in the mirror. She loved
how it was tattered that the bottom. She then went to have her hair curled,
braided with white roses entwined with white roses. The make-up artist lightly
highlighted her eyes with black eyeliner.

“Are you ready yet?” Someone shouted at the top of their lungs. Amy couldn’t help but smirk in all her sadness. This video was dedicated to Ben and the time he had been involved with the members of Evanescence. Amy glided down the stairs of the trailer, the gauze slightly dirty from walking across the ground. She thought it appeared quite graceful.

“Finally.”

“Alright, let’s get this show on the road. Lights, camera, action!!” A clacking noise with a bright flash made Amy slightly nervous. She then remembered all of what Ben told her the night he left, and let it carry her through the music. She felt at rest with her past, and ready to take on the future.

I’m so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
‘Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won’t leave me alone

These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I’m bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone
But though you’re still with me
I’ve been alone all along

When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

Is this fair?

2009-07-21T13:59:00.001+08:00

I'm single.. again

Tak Suka ...

2009-06-29T10:21:00.003+08:00

Orang cakap belakang
Sebenarnya orang macam ni ramai.... Ada yang xreti2 sebenarnya dia ni dulu yang masuk dlm hidup orang lain, pastu die leh cakap orang lain menyusahkan dia. Pastu dia cakap2 belakang pasal kita. X ke sakit hati tu.
Orang yang cakap besar
Ada orang suka cakap besar nak menunjukkan betapa kayanya dia, betapa senangnya hidup dia, betapa bahagianya dia. Tapi rupa2 nya x macam tu pun, semuanya just tipu semata2. Kenapa? Coz dia nak beritahu semua orang life dia ok and balance.
Orang yang batu api
Orang macam ni suka melaga2 kan orang sampai semua orang bargaduh. Kuat mengadu, pastu cakap kita pulak kuat mengadu... Orang macam ni baik hidup zaman batu je lagi baik. Diri sendiri pun x betul, nak kutuk2 orang kat belakang.

Kepada insan yang berkenaan, kami semua dah tahu perangai awak... Xyah nk buat2 baik lagi.

Tagged by who???

2009-06-29T10:04:00.003+08:00

Perfume Kegemaran
Miracle by Lancome and One Drop Perfume (green box). Sebenarnya xde duit sgt nk beli yang mahal. So saya beli ODP je, jimat dan murah..
Kasut/Sandal
Kalau ditanya yang saya paling suka of course Vincci. Sangat selesa dan tahan lama. Saya pun beli jugak kasut@sandal biasa. Janji sesuai dan selesa. Tapi kl vincci ni xboleh la beli selalu. Setahun maybe 3 kali kot.. Saya penah pakai kasut vincci selama 2 tahun... Jimat oo... Tapak dia xhaus dan tahan lama.
Make Up
Buat masa ni saya gunakan Maybelline (Eye Shadow, Mascara, Lipstick, Compact Powder)
Anda seorang pemboros dan sukakan barang berjenama?
Tidak! Saya jarang beli benda2 kat atas melainkan ada sale sahaja. Saya mementingkan kualiti.... Lagipun sekali sekala xpela. Ala, kira paling murah la kat atas tu

Kenyataan di atas merupakan tag dari seseorang yang perlu dirahsiakan.

By Demi Lovato - Don't Forget

2009-06-28T19:01:00.000+08:00

Did you forget

That I was even alive
Did you forget
Everything we ever had
Did you forget
Did you forget
About me

Did you regret
Ever standing by my side
Did you forget
What we were feeling inside
Now I'm left to forget
About us

But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it

So now I guess
This is where we have to stand
Did you regret
Ever holding my hand
Never again
Please don't forget
Don't forget

We had it all
We were just about to fall
Even more in love
Than we were before
I won't forget
I won't forget
About us

But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it

Somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it
At all

And at last
All the pictures have been burned
And all the past
Is just a lesson that we've learned
I won't forget
I won't forget us

But somewhere we went wrong
Our love is like a song
But you won't sing along
You've forgotten
About us

>> My Feelings Towards U <<

Are Men Supposed To Be Girl's Best Friend?

2009-06-16T19:42:00.003+08:00

Of course you have boy friends (i mean, best friend la, tapi lelaki). For many people the idea of a man and a woman being friends is charming, but improbable. "It always leads to something else…" they argue, meaning that the relationship eventually becomes romantic. It is very difficult for a man and woman to have a platonic friendship…normally emotions get in the way and friendship can be ruined by one of the parties starting to get either possessive or jealous…Will your libido silence while spending pleasant time and having fun and sharing interests and activities, attitudes and values with just a friend of the opposite SEX?...Perhaps NO…

Well, as for me, I have a best friend, a guy.. And we're quite close. But the situation is I got jealous when I saw her image of him and her girl. NO!!! I'm not jealous!!! I'm just.. Uh.. I don't know why. I don't have any feelings towards him. I'm jealousy because, I feel like he's got new shoulder to tell his story, to share his problem with... That's why I am jealous. I'd understand because I have a bf too, so I shouldn't have to have this kind of feeling.

Updating

2009-06-16T10:45:00.001+08:00

Hi.. ya'll.. now i'm doing some new design for my blog.. still under construction.. so

Tag Dari Miss Aja

2009-06-09T19:28:00.005+08:00

1) "5" Nama Timangan Anda :

Tina : Tu nama dalam family la. Macamane tah mak n ayah terfikir nk panggil saya dengan nama tu. Actually name penuh Siti Nadirah.. Mungkin dorang amik dari nama penuh saya tu SITI NADIRAH. Jadilah Tina
Naa : Nama ni nama manja, ataupun nama yang saya biasa gunakan apabila saya bahasakan diri dengan ayah atau kawan2.
Siti : Ni nama timangan yang diberi oleh kawan saya, nama dia Bob, dia selalu panggil saya Siti, orang len x pun.. cam nak gelak pun ada, coz bila panggil Siti tu, cam ayu je rase.. huhu
Nad : Haa.. nickname ni saya guna dalam chat, masa sekolah dan sebagainya. Sebenarnya dah lama orang xpanggil saya Nad, tapi bila keja kat skali, ada la orang tu start panggil saya Nad, kalau x silap, Azrul, PE saya yang panggil saya Nad, teruslah diikuti K.Nurul, K.Husna, En.Elhan dan etc... Client saya, miss Salwa, Pn.Puteri dan Hj. Ghani pun panggil saya Nad.
Last... hmm... name spesel yang oleh bf saya... haha.. xberitahu x boleh ke Aja? Malu la i... lebih kurang u jugak, buang S, ganti dengan A.

2) "5" Sifat / Tabiat Buruk Anda :

Apa ek.... Bukan susah pun nak pk kan? Hehe...

Saya ni suka terburu-buru. Kalau buat sesuatu keputusan main redah je. Last-last saya gak malu
Gigit kuku. Tu dah bukan sifat buruk dah, dah jadi hobi dah... Dari sekolah sampai la ni saya suka gigit kuku. Xtau la nape. Mak pun selalu marah...
Kurang sabar. Kalau dah kurang sabar ni mesti lah ada kaitan dengan bad temper kan. Yup, saya ni kurang sabar dan cepat marah. Kalau marah tu macam2 perkataan akan keluar dari mulut saya... Semuanya 4huruf bi-lingual... :P
Pelupa. Ni dalam kategori perangai buruk jugak kan? Saya ni pelupa yang amat. Selalu lupa letak barang kat mana. Kadang2 bila nk pegi kerja, dah elok2 masuk lif, baru teringat ada barang tertinggal... Dah try ingat, tapi lupa jugak.. Camane ek?
Suka fikir bukan2

3) "5" Makanan Favorite :

Nasi. Nasi la ape2 pun, saya x kisah, semua saya redah dan yang pasti saya akan makan dengan kadar yang agak banyak... sebab tu la saya gemokkkk!
Sup cendawan yang saya buat sendiri. Sebenarnya x penah masak untuk family pun, masak untuk diri sendiri dan housemate. Suka sebab best and suka sebab cendawan tu rasa cam petai.. Hahaha...
Char Kuew Tiaw yang hanya boleh didapati di MAMPU, JPM. Char Kuew Tiaw ni spesel gile coz best dan ada kerang. Sebenarnya saya xpenah makan kerang.. Tu la kali pertama saya mengaku yang kerang tu best jugak rasanya.
Megi . Ni lah makanan fevret yang memang susah nak dilupakan , terutamanya bila poket tengah kering... Betul x, kawan2?
Budu. Ni kira makanan gak kan? Suka budu sebab budu masin dan best.. hehe..

4) "5" Subjek Pelajaran paling suka :

English. Tu je subjek yang saya rasa saya akan dapat markah paling tinggi, paling tinggi berbanding subjek lain lah. Saya x cakap besar lah, saya xpandai. Tapi English la satu2nye subjek yang saya paling suka dan saya banyak belajar dari ayah.
Pendidikan Syariah Islamiah. Suka sebab banyak kisah pasal nabi dan ada kisah kawin... haha.. tu yang suka sangat tu.
Sejarah. Suka sebab boleh belajar sejarah negara. Kat kolej lak, belajar sejarah dunia, so banyak benda kita dapat tau..
Pendidikan Jasmani. Time sekolah rendah, selalu main besbol... pulak tu leh campur ngan budak laki. Masa tu ada la suka kat sorang budak laki ni, so setiap kali men besbol, saya ikat tudung cantik2 n bila main tu tunjuk ganas ar untuk tarik perhatian dia. Kekeke...
Pendidikan Muzik. Suke sangat. Saya penah dapat pujian dari cikgu suara best, n ada satu alat muzik tu, xigt la panggil apa, tapi bunyi cam pasir, cuma duorang je yang tau main kat dalam kelas saya, darjah 4b, sorang budak laki, sorang lagi saya. N kebetulan cikgu tu hensem... Suke la apelagi...

5) "5" Benda wajib dalam purse :

Duit.. Paling penting. IC tu jatuh ditangga kedua.
IC. Xde IC susah, karang polis ingat saya pendatang pulak.
ATM Card. Kot2 nak beli barang, xcukup duit karang, naya je.
Resit. Resit ni penting, boleh lah saya refer balik kl ada apa2. Resit boleh gak menebalkan lagi poket saya. Baru nampak cam ada duit sikit
Gambar. Gambar sapa lagi, gambar artis paling popular kegemaran saya --> Siti Nadirah Abdul Rahim la.. hehe

6) "5" Topik yang biasa dibual bersama pasangan/teman :

Hal2 rumah : Wey, arini nak makan ape? Masak ape?
Bf : Bangunlah tido!!! Dah lewat ni...Dah nak kol9...
Hal2 mengabihkan duit : Shopping? Tengok Wayang?
Hal2 Kawin : Bila la aku nak kawin? Ko nak baby bape orang? Hantaran ko bape?
Masa depan : Bila berbual dengan ayah, pasal kerja, kereta, hutang, dan sebagainya

Ok.. Dah terjawab semuanya kat sini... Nak tag sape ar... nanti ar pk...

We Should Just... Break!!!

2009-06-08T13:14:00.001+08:00

Sebenarnya.. saya dh xtahan lagi... xsanggup lagi... boleh x kite break je???? Boleh kan??? Saya tau mesti boleh, sebab setiap kali saya mintak break pun awak memang xkisah... Xkisah langsung, apa yang awak tau, "Terpulang la kat awk, kl dah xleh tahan, break je!!" Tula, ayat yang biasa kuar dari mulut awak. Saya xpayah nk jaga hati awak... Awak pun xpayah susah2 nk sakitkan hati saya lagi... Awak tau x saya bosan dengan perangai awak... Awak macam budak2 yang saya kena ajar apa yang awak kena buat. Kalau saya tegur, awak melenting. Lepas tu awak akan cakap, "Kawan2 saya xpenah pun cakap macam tu, diorang ok je!!!", x pun awak akan kata,"Memang dari kecik saya dah macam ni!".

Ok, so fine, buatlah hal awak sendiri, saya xnak tau apa2 lagi pasal awak. Kalau awak sendiri xreti nak develop diri awak sendiri, xde sape2 dah boleh buat.. Awak dah besar,umur dah 27, dah masak... Dah xleh nk diubah lagi...

Kenapa setiap kali saya tegur perangai awak, awak xleh terima? Awak xleh terima kenyataan ke yang sememangnya awak macam tu? Kenapa nk melenting, saya ingatkan awak akan positif dan fikir 2,3x apa yang saya cakap. Tapi awak x... Awak pentingkan diri awak sendiri...Saya tau kadang2 cara saya tegur tu kasar, tu pun sebab saya dah sakit hati sangat ngan awak. Orang len kalau dah ada steady gf, memang take care gile2 kat gf dia... Tapi awak? Memang awak take care, tapi yelah kan, dah dari kecik perangai awak macam tu... Saya try terima benda tu.. Dan harap awak akan cuba ubah diri awak, tapi hampeh, awak sama jugak. Xberubah.. Kalau berubah pun adalah 5% je...

Kalau gaduh, ada ke awak cari saya, awak diam je adalah... Ni awak merajuk lebih dari perempuan... Kalau kite gaduh kat tengah hutan, kat tengah hutan tu la awak tinggalkan saya sorang2 n awak pulak balik rumah sorang then sms mintak maaf. Tu la awak... Pentingkan diri sendiri...

Dan kalau awak rasa awak je betul, saya rasa awak xperlukan saya... Buatlah hal awak sendiri... Dah, kita tutup buku. Cukuplah sampai kat sini... Pegilah awak dengar cakap kawan2 awak, kawin lah dengan kawan awak, berkapel la dengan kawan awk..Hati saya sakit, xpe... Hati kawan awk xboleh kan... So gudbye....

Saya dah tau, apa pun saya buat, awak xkan merayu pun saya ni, awak xkan buat apa2... and its just the same kind of story...

Thanks for hurting me... this is what i feel...

2009-06-05T10:29:00.004+08:00

Does he noticed my feelings for him and will he see how he means to me
i think its not to be...
(credit to Sally's Song)
Will we ever end up together?...
(credit to Sally's Song)
Thought you'd come around when I ignored you
Sorta thought you'd have the decency to change
But babe I guess you didn't take that warning
’Cause I'm not about to look at your face again...
(credit to Avril Lavigne's Too Much Too Ask)
Let me feel the space between us growing deeper
And much darker every day
Watch me now and I’ll be someone new
My heart will be unbroken
It will open up for everyone but you...
(credit to Britney Spears' Out From Under)
I can't change who I am not this time, I wont lie to keep you near me and in this short life, there's no time to waste on giving up, my love wasn't enough...
and you can blame it on me, just set ur guilt free...
(credit to Evanescence's Lacrymosa)
And if i'll bleed, i bleed
Knowing you dont care...
(credit to Evanescence's Missing)
All this time I was wasting
Hoping you would come around
I've been giving out chances every time
And all you do is let me down

And it's taking me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again
But not this time around....
(credit to Taylor Swift's You're Not Sorry)
Every time I turn around
I think I've got it all figured out
My heart keeps callin' and I keep on fallin'
Over and over again
This sad story always ends the same
Me standin' in the pourin' rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two
(credit to Kelly Clarkson's The Trouble With Love)
Never again will I hear you
Never again will I miss you
Never again will I fall to you
Never

Never again will I kiss you
Never again will I want to
Never again will I love you
Never
(credit to Kelly Clarkson's Never Again)
From my own words.... I'm sorry that i cant bear this all alone... Everyday, u keep hurting me, blame me for everything. I just want to change u, so that you will take a good care of me, so that u will understand my feelings. So... we better end it up like this. Bye...

SKALI Futsal Challenge 2009

2009-06-01T19:54:00.007+08:00

Assalamualaikum...

Pada hari sabtu baru-baru ini iaitu 30 Mei 2009, telah berlangsung pertandingan futsal anjuran SKALI bertempat di Ampang Sport Planet.

Tahun lepas kumpulan saya iaitu PETEH, telah menjadi juara bagi kategori wanita... Dan tahun ini kami kembali lagi dengan semangat baru, baju baru dan nama baru iaitu PETEH KEMBALI, dengan harapan kami akan mengekalkan kejuaraan...

Pertandingan tahun ini cukup menarik dan yang paling penting hadiah tempat pertama ialah trofi, medal, hamper dan wang tunai. Maklumlah, gaji lambat.... suka la kalau dapat cash... leh la support hidup 2,3 hari... Ok, kembali ke topik asal... Pertandingan berjalan begitu lancar... First game,kami dibelasah sedikit teruk iaitu 2-0... Kami mmg la macam ni, kalau first game selalunya caca merba sikit. Game seterusnya, kami dah dapat balik tenaga kami... seronok dapat belasah team lain pulak...

Akhirnya sampai la ke penghujungnya, dan melihat kepada mata yang kami kumpul, kami juara tapi seri dengan kumpulan lagi satu... tapi kami menang tipis dengan 2x gol bolos, dan mereka pula tewas dengan 4gol bolos...

Masa tu dah excited sangat sebab rasa cam dah menang.. Tapi team lawan ni cam tak puas hati gila ngan kami... Adala sorang ni tanye, "bila masa team korang belasah team tu 4-0", 4-0 tu mata yang kami dapat time lawan team kickers kalau xsilap... kat situ pun dah nampak akak tu memang tak puas hati... maklumlah, dah seri....

Tak jadi la ending kami sebagai juara... Akhirnya kami re-match balik untuk menentukan sapa yang layak bergelar juara... Dan yang paling tak best kami kena main kat court besar, so 7sebelah la setiap pasukan.. Sebelum perlawanan, kami dah dimaklumkan setiap team cuma leh register 8 orang je, tapi team lawan kami ni leh lak bwk 10orang... mana aci..

Akhirnya dalam kol 1, bermula la perlawanan kami menentang team lawan... Kl dikira %, kami lebih banyak menyerang dan defend pon ok... Masa dah tamat, and seri pulak tu...

Kami masing2 diberi 3 peluang untuk membuat sepakan penalti... Penalti pun seri... Penat sey... Akhirnya diberikan satu lagi penalti... Dan penalti ni diambil oleh team saya... kami memilih untuk menjadi keeper dan menurut ref, kalau gol yang disepak lawan masuk, mereka dikira menang, dan jika xberjaya, kami dikira menang...

Dup dap dup dap...

GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.... hancurnya hati kami masa tu... tapi kami hepi coz we're the winner in every heart.. semua support kami, walaupun kalah....

Kami xperasan, orang yang buat sepakan tu merupakan orang luar... memang x aci.. tapi kami kalah bermaruah, kami x main tipu, kami x main kasar dari awl, cuma time final tu je dah kasar sikit coz hati dh terluka....

Dan mendengar cakap2 orang lain, semua tak suka dengan team tu... kenapa? jawapannya... fikirla sendiri...

Sekian, untuk hari ini

P/S - adatla, bukan semua orang puas hati dengan kita... anyway, PETEH akan kembali lagi... watch out... No.2 pun no. 2 la.. at least semua orang sebelah kami... kami menang sorak dan menang di hati semua...

Pasrah

2009-05-28T20:18:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum...

Apa khabar semua? Baik kan.... Hmmm... hari ni xtau nk cerita pasal apa... Ok... i'm about to start a story of... hmmm... xtau...

Sebenarnya aku teringin sangat nk kawin... hehe... tibe2 cakap bab kawin kan... hehe.. tapi bf aku ni x faham2 hint yang aku bagi... dah bosan dah aku... cam aku lak terhegeh2... dia pulak cam biasa la..wat x kisah... kl aku sebut pasal kawin... mcm2 alasan la aku dengar...

Kl xde duit, savingla... tapi ni duit dok abis tang benda lain.. tu yang aku marah tu.... Ikut hati nak je aku terima orang lain... Coz aku dah bosan nk menunggu... benda yang xpasti... Bosan...100x....

Orang lain yang berkapel baru lagi pun dah ada planning. Bf aku ni, apa aku cakap cam x amik port and xde kesungguhan langsung... Bila aku tanye serius ke dia dgn aku, serius sokmo die jawab... ntah lah.

Kadang-kadang cam sedih dengan cara dia layan aku, cam ku ni xpenting langsung. Mcm aku ni laki, dan dia pompuan.. Pastu sume benda aku nk kena cakap, nk kena ajar..

Pening gak aku kdg2... dan aku rasa kwn2 lelaki yang lain lagi responsible dari dia, lagi amik berat pasal aku... jauh beza dengan dia...

Argh... apa yang patut aku buat? Buat masa ni aku redha je la apa yang berlaku... Aku still bersyukur coz ada la something yang buat kan aku still appreciate dia... tapi bilanya dia nk appreciate aku...

P/S - post ini ditulis dalam keadaan stress...

Mom...

2009-05-19T20:20:00.003+08:00

She used to be my only enemy and never let me be free
Catching me in places that I knew I should'nt be
Every other day I crossed the line I didn't mean to be so bad
I never thought you would become the friend I never had

This is the way i describe you, Ma... bila marah, saya rasa benci sangat.... tapi Ma la tempat saya meluahkan perasaan saya... Xpenah benci Ma... mungkin masa tu jiwa remaja, perasaan ni nak marah je...

Back then I didn't know why
Why you were misunderstood
So now I see through your eyes
All that you did was love
Mama I love you.Mama I care
Mama I love you . Mama my friend. You're my friend

Perkara di atas terjadi bila apa yang saya mahukan tak dapat dipenuhi, dan apa yang saya nak lakukan, semua dibantah keras2 oleh Ma.

I didn't want to hear it then but I'm not ashamed to say it now
Every little thing you said and did was right for me
I had a lot of to think about,about the way I usedto be
Never had a sense of my responsibility

Ini adalah saat2 dimana saya mula merasakan energi kasih sayang yang Ma curahkan pada saya dan adik2 saya. Maafkan kami Ma... Kami tahu kami silap.. Degil dan x dengar kata-kata Ma.

Back then I didn't know why
Why you were misunderstood
So now I see through your eyes, all that you did was love
Mama, I love you. Mama, I care
Mama, I love you. Mama ,my friend. You're my friend

Yes, i love u so much, Ma.... I'll alwiz pray for ur health and our happiness... I love u today, and i'll love u forever, because you're the most valuable thing i 'vee ver had in my life... U're the light that shine on us... on what we will become... Thanks Mom.. and Hepy Mother's Day... Xsengaja terlambat wish, but i dont think its a big matter because EVERYDAY IS A MOTHER'S DAY.

LOVE.... NAADIRAH

Resigning?

2009-05-19T18:28:00.001+08:00

Yeah..actually tahun lepas hujung tahun 2008 saya betul2 nk resign masa tu...sebenarnya saya dah pun dapat keje lain.... Tapi x jadi... atas sebab2 tertentu... Terutamanya keje2 saya yang belum setel lagi...

Saya rindukan mak dengan ayah. Tak tau la kenapa kebelakangan ni selalu mimpi buruk pasal mak dan ayah.... mungkin rindu sangat kot...

Saya harap sangat saya dapat keje lain kat kampung, so saya boleh jaga mak dengan ayah...

Skali Lagi....

2009-05-18T09:14:00.001+08:00

Alhamdullillah...semalam, sekali lagi saya join ESQ. Kali ni bertempat di PWTC. Tapi saya hanya meluangkan 2hari saja, iaitu hari sabtu dan ahad. Maklumlah hari jumaat kerja.

InsyaAllah, jika ada kesempatan ataupun free, saya akan sentiasa mengikuti program ini. Supaya saya sentiasa ingat asal usul saya dan supaya apa yang saya belajar di ESQ sentiasa melekat di hati saya.

Tahniah, kawan2 skalians yang telah tamat kursus tiga hari... dan selamat menjalani kehidupan baru

My Baby

2009-05-12T12:26:00.002+08:00

I love my baby so much... tapi xsempat nak memanja kan baby dengan baik... xde masa nak cuci, xde mase nk tinted lagi walaupun dah berbulan aku memiliki baby.. heheh... Ini lah baby yang dimaksudkan ialah :

Start of Something New

2009-05-12T11:38:00.004+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Hari ini saya masuk ofis dengan perasaan baru.. Semangat baru.. Saya ingin berubah menjadi saya yang baru.. Setelah setahun, banyak juga perubahan yang saya dah lakukan, ada benda yang saya dah tinggalkan...

Though i failed, i wont lost my enthusiasm. I will keep trying and be the best...

Subhanallah...

2009-05-11T18:12:00.004+08:00

Demi Matahari, dan sinarnya di pagi hari…
Demi Bulan, apabila ia mengelilingi…
Demi Siang hari, bila menampakkan diri nya…
Demi malam, Apabila ia menutupi…

Demi Langit, Berserta seluruh binaanya…
Demi Bumi, beserta seluruh hamparannya…
Demi jiwa, dan seluruh penyempurnaannya…

Allah…
Mengilhamkan, Sukma kefasikkan dan Ketaqwaan…
Beruntung bagi yang mensucikannya, merugi bagi yang mengotorinya…

Tamat sudah, 3 Hari ESQ Training di Flamingo Hotel, pendapat saya sendiri, program ini sangat bagus pengisiannya, joinlah kepada sesiapa yang mencari-cari erti hidup, sesiapa yang ingin berubah, dan sesiapa sahaja...

Banyak benda yang telah saya pelajari di ESQ Training ni, walaupun ada jugak saya dengar cerita2 yang x elok mengenai ESQ, pada pendapat saya, kalau yang baik tu, ambikla, jadikan teladan. At least, dlm program ni kita akan mengenal diri kita sendiri, kita akan sedar betapa kecilnya diri kita di sisi Allah dan Rasullullah....

InsyaAllah, semoga kita sama-sama mendapat keberkatan dari Tuhan Yang Maha Esa....

to Damien

2009-05-07T19:58:00.001+08:00

There’s nothing I can say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain the tears they cry
Still you never said goodbye and now I know how far you’d go
I know I let you down but its not like that now
This time I’ll never let you go

I will be all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I’ll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK

I thought that I had every thing I didn’t know what life could bring
But now I see honestly
You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe cause your here with me
And if I let you down I’ll turn it all around
Cause I would never let you go

I will be all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I’ll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK

Cause with out you I can’t sleep
I’m not gonna ever ever let you leave
You’re all I got
You’re all I want
Yeah
And with out you I don’t know what I’ll do
I could never ever live a day with out you
Here with me do you see your all I need

And I will be all that you want and get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life (my life) I will be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK

I will be (I’ll be) all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
And all my life you know I will be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK

P/S : Dem, though sometimes you hurt me... i still need you..

Sekadar Fesyen

2009-05-04T14:12:00.005+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Sila perhatikan gambar di atas? apa pendapat anda? Macamana kalau ada orang berpakaian macam ni kat Malaysia? Pakai baju non sleeves, short pants dan paling penting bertudung...!
Cantik kan?

Sebenarnya semalam, semasa sesat cari jalan pulang ke Sentul, saya dan kawan2 sempat singgah ke Petronas Bangi... Masa nak pegi bayar petrol, terserempak, seorang perempuan berbadan gempal dan berpakaian seperti di atas. Cuma pakaian nya lebih ketat... sehingga menampakkan apa yang x patut.

Bukan apa yang nak dimarahkan sangat... Terkejut tengok dia pakai macam tu... Kalau pakai baju labuh, suar panjang kan manis... Mungkin pemakaian tudung cuma dijadikan trend oleh mereka2 ni... Saya pun xperfect gak bab-bab menutup aurat ni, tapi Alhamdullillah, usaha tu ada..

Dan pada yang tahu dosa dan pahala... terutamanya suami dan ayah

"ada 4 perempuan yang akan menarik lelaki ke dalam neraka iaitu... 1)Ibu 2) Isteri 3) saudara perempuan dan empat... anak perempuan... oleh itu jagalah mereka... "

Itu benda yang selalu disebut oleh seorang teman... Dan saya sendiri, banyak dosa dan silap... Dan masih mencuba untuk jadi yang terbaik sebagai contoh kepada adik2 aku.. Maklumlah ada adik perempuan, susah nak jaga...

End of April

2009-04-30T21:09:00.006+08:00

Ok... banyak benda yang terjadi dalam bulan ni... Ada best, ada happy, ada sedih dan macam-macam rasala lagi..

Finally, i've got something that would make my life better... Gembira sangat masa tu... Dan orang pertama yang tahu berita tu, tentula my beloved mom and dad... Alhamdullilah, rezeki ada dimana2. Dan aku juga banyak dapat offer buat website and simple design... Cuma buat masa ni 2 je yang aku sempat buat... Baru la keje aku balance.

Dan bulan April juga merupakan bulan kelahiran aku. Thanks kepada kawan2 yang wish aku masa tu... Really appreciate it.

Dalam sedar x sedar juga, aku dah hampir setahun 4 bulan bekerja di SKALI Web Services ni. Walaupun kadang-kadang tahap stress tu agak tinggi.. aku akan cuba bersabar.

Hm... lagi satu perkara, bulan ni gaji lambat sikit.. hehe... so, kena bersabarla... K,la apa-apa pun, SELAMAT HARI PEKERJA...

Apa aku tgh buat?

2009-04-30T20:41:00.000+08:00

Aku sebenarnya tgh cari idea nk update design blog ni... so skrg sume dah gelap gulita aja... hmm.. lagi satu aku dah bukak blog baru.. dimana kat blog tu aku ada provide design tutorial.. wapun aku x berapa pandai.. so chow... (sedey gaji xdpt lagi)

Blog Status

2009-04-29T18:21:00.002+08:00

Hi... just wanna inform that, my blog is in updating mode (layout)...

forever gone

2009-04-26T02:29:00.003+08:00

i just can't let go
the memories of yesterday
everytime i try to forget you but why i still see you...
no matter how hard i tried to get rid off your face
you were still here....
is it true that your gone(dead)?

People Are Strange

2009-04-20T10:04:00.003+08:00

People are strange when you're a stranger,
Faces look ugly when you're alone.
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted,
Streets are uneven when you're down.

When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain.
When you're strange
No one remembers your name
When you're strange,
When you're strange,
When you're strange.

All right, yeah!

People are strange when you're a stranger,
Faces look ugly when you're alone.
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted,
Streets are uneven when you're down.

When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name
When you're strange
When you're strange
When you're strange
Alright yeah
When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name
When you're strange
When you're strange
When you're strange
by The Doors

This song speaks so true. Do you understand what this means? Yes, I'd understand. Because... I was the one whose in the situations....

Need A Little Help

2009-04-19T14:47:00.003+08:00

I'm working on my friends website.. and try to work on some banner but i have no idea...

Here's some simple banner

FYI, my friend is a make up artiste... Totally, got no idea

You Hurted Me My Frens

2009-04-19T14:30:00.003+08:00

Well.. i felt better now... I was crying out loud yesterday after u left me in the middle of the "fucking thing". Why did you do this to me? I thought we were friends. Then u used me like you always did. I thought we're going to through this together.

I know i'm such a jerk... But how could you burdened me with this thing. I dont care about all your stuffs. I never ever backstabbing you but i'm shocked when you do such things to me. You knew how much this task meant to me. I tried so hard to deliver it and i realize that your part is much harder than me.. But why am i doing your job? Your task? They didnt pay me to do that. I dont wanna act like i'm a good one... I help you because we're in a team... Part of the team. But you shouldnt have to this to me.. All you have to do is stood there and do nothing at all.. Yes, at least you did help sometime... But i think all this time... dat i'm doing all this thing...

I'm sorry my friend... It's over now... I'm sorry that i can't forgive you.. BECAUSE U LEFT ME YESTERDAY IN FRONT OF BOSSES, CLIENT AND U DID NOTHING.... NOTHING THAT WOULD HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT SUCH A SUCKS THING... i'm tired of doing this thing.... i'm hurt... deep inside with your attitudes...

Someone asked me this...

2009-04-17T18:54:00.015+08:00

What is your name?
My name is Siti Nadirah Abdul Rahim.... Wish they name me Amy Lynn
How old are you
24 years old (this month).. but it i think i look like 18... (*wink*)
What is your hobby?
Singing..pretend dat i was Amy Lee...Laughing....Surfing...
Who is the first person who asked you what you want to be when you grow up?
Myself... I said Volcanology... though there's no volcano thingy in M'sia... but i love the feel, the sight of volcano.... and sometimes when teacher asked i said, "Doktor, cikgu". Cikgu, i'm sorry, i lied to u.
First album you bought
Britney Spears, ...baby one more time.. I lent it to my friend and she never ever gave me that album again... *%&$%*
First salary and job
RM 500-600 something... Customer Service, Terengganu
First mobile phone you've bought
Nokia 2100
What is your biggest silly dream?
Marry Justin Timberlake
What is the most importang thing in your bag
Glasses / Lens
Your lover..
Mom, dad, siblings, God, Prophets...Him... Frens

Blabber 17042009

2009-04-17T18:18:00.015+08:00

Hari ni aku nak membebel pasal.. mcm2 la.. mix... antaranya

aku time sekolah
time kerja
time menguruskan banyak benda

Ok... Gagal time sekolah... Time sekolah ni kiranya aku gagal dalam pelajaran la.. subjek math.. subjek yang aku paling x suka la... Aku memang x pandai kira-kira dari sekolah rendah... bab2 nak menggunakan otak untuk buat kira-kira ni memang lemah aku... penah satu masa tu cikgu suh aku tunjukkan cara pengiraan kat depan... Aku ni malu nye.. coz x pandai....xpandai... xsuke... masa tu cikgu suh wat pengiraan bahagi je.. tu pun jawapan aku salah... memang bodo la aku bab2 ni.... Sampai la form 5 xpandai-pandai aku math, tapi Alhamdullillah, bila exam penting aku pas la jugak kan.... Lagi satu subjek Bahasa Arab... aku x berapa faham ape ustazah aku ajar... sampai form 3 aku xpandai2...

Kenapa la aku ni lembab sangat mase tu... So cara aku handle benda tu... aku try la belajar slow... cuba sampai aku reti... subjek math-time kolej, aku mmg study kaw2 ar. walaupun agak lembab, aku cuba jadikan math subjek yang aku suka... Caranya aku salin balik soalan2 yang lecturer bagi, pastu aku buat balik, buat banyak kali.... bila dah reti sikit aku cari soalan yang lebih kurang dan aku buat sampai reti.. macam tu la caranya...

Bahasa arab pulak.. time form 4, aku cuba faham dan ingat betul2 term2 yang aku rasa senang... dan aku relate kan dengan english... lama2 faham la aku macamana nak menggunakan bahasa arab.. tapi aku x reti la nak communicate dalam bahasa arab ni... at least aku try masa tu...

Masa study bukan setakat math je aku lembab... subjek lain pun lembab jugak.. hehe... tapi aku belajar slow2... aku belajar menghafal nota dan aku buat balilk kerja-kerja yang lecturer bagi sampai aku ingat.... cara aku menghafal, aku baca sikit2, bila dah ingat aku baca paragraph lain... apstu ulang balik dari a-z... dari situ la orang lain mula respek aku... dulu malu la jugak aku coz result aku selalu hampeh... tapi x sia-sia usaha aku... akhirnya aku berjaya jugak... dan aku x try apa yang aku diajar dan disuruh aje... aku cuba lebih dari tu....

Gagal time kerja pulak... Kerja ni kan susah, kerja ni kita bersaing dengan orang dan macamana kita nak orang appreciate kerja kita... dulu aku suka buat apa yang orang x suruh aku buat... kenape? coz aku rasa dengan cara tu aku dapat belajar macam-macam benda... dan aku x nak dianggap bodoh, walaupun kadang-kadang aku pun xtau banyak benda.. masa aku mula-mula kerja, aku rasa xde orang perasan kerja aku ni... xperasan kewujudan aku... nk marah tu marah la jugak tapi aku try slow2 multitask kan diri aku... Alhamdullillah... berhasil... ada la orang nampak hasil kerja aku... time kerja ni, memangla kita takut orang buang kita dan macam-macam lagi la.. sama la macam aku... apa yang aku boleh cakap.. sabar... kalau kita rasa kita dah sehabis daya berikan yang terbaik dan sebagainya la...InsyaAllah, satu masa nanti orangn akan nampak sapa kita. Ada hari kita jatuh dan kite kena selalu bersedia dengan apa yang akan berlaku pada masa depan. Mungkin kita xle nak deliver task yang diberi, mungkin kepandaian kita kat benda lain, dan kalau benda tu relate dengan bidang kerja kita sekarang, apa salah nya kita kongsikan dengan orang lain... mana tahu... dengan cara tu ada la jugak contribution kita... cuma jangan la jadi cam aku ni, aku ni kalau meeting diam... sume diam... xtau nak cakap ape.. tu la penyakit aku sekarang ni..

Dalam kehidupan kita pulak... mungkin kita xreti nak manage life, family, duit dan sebagainya... mungkin bulan ni ada gaji lebih nak bagi mak, bila dah bagi x cukup kat kita pulak... tu pun masalah jugak kan... so nak buat macamana, life goes on.... kalau bab2 life ni aku x reti nak cakap... Masalah besar aku sekarang ialah pelupa.. aku xtau macamana nk hilangkan sakit lupa aku ni.. benda yangn ada depan mata pun aku lupa... macamana nak buat ar? Aku pun x tau.

Sekarang byk benda yang berlaku kat sekeliling aku, yang berubah, yang best, yang sedih dan sebagainya... Tapi itulah colors of life... Ada sedih, hepi, jatuh, bangun dan sebagainya...

Okla... nak sambung kerja pulak... bye

Selamat Pengantin Baru

2009-03-17T18:45:00.003+08:00

Selamat pengantin baru aku ucapkan kepada kawan baikku, Karimah Hayati.. Tahniah, akhirnya berjaya melangsungkan perkahwinannya di Kuantan dengan Loba (xleh panggil Loba dah..nak panggil al-Hafiz lepas ni :))....

Kepada sesape yang kawin such as Noyu Shida (my 2nd cousin), K.Zah dan ramai lagi... Sorry, coz x dpt menghadirkan diri...Bukannya sengaja... tapi bz and x dpt balik kg.

Photoshop Tutorial Image Effect #001

2009-03-13T13:50:00.010+08:00

Okies, hari ni aku nak ajar beberapa simple photoshop tutorial, iaitu efek imej... Macamana nak jadikan imej yang agak kabur warnanya menjadi terang...

1. Mula2 cari imej yang sesuai dan open with photoshop.
2. Lepas tu, halakan cursor ke panel kanan ataupun tekan F7 (layer), klik kanan pada layer tersebut dan duplicate layer.

3. Sekarang kita dah ada dua layer dalam componen layer. Klik pada layer kedua (background copy), dan halakan mouse ke bahagian toolbar, cari Filter>>Blur>>Gaussian Blur

Setkan radius ke 1.5 something. Dan hasilnya gambar tersebut akan menjadi sedikit kabur...

4. Lepas tu, sekali lagi klik kanan pada duplicated layer tadi, dan halakan mouse ke atas sikit je, ada nampak dua dropdown box kan.. Yang ada perkataan normal tu, tukar kan ke Overlay, kalau betul, gambar tadi x kan nampak blur lagi. Sekarang, kat dropdown sebelah iaitu Opacity set ia kepada 30%-60%... Sesedap mata memandang la...

Overlay

Opacity
5. Akhirnya siapla imej tersebut.. Gambar yang aku pilih ni ialah koleksi gambar britney yang aku download, memang agak blur la... tapi dah clear sikit... Hehe... So kawan2, selamat mencuba.. N sori, aku xreti nak tutor...

Aku GAGAL!

2009-03-12T21:28:00.003+08:00

MALAS!!!!!!!!!!! Sume benda aku malas nak buat... Kerja pun malas, nak buat poem / lagu macam dulu pun malas... Kalau bab kerja tu x tahula kenapa, mungkin aku dah penat sangat... Tapi kenapa orang nak jeles ngan keje aku, dengan apa yang aku buat? Korang ada ke datang keje semata2 nak research atau nak buat yang terbaik tengah2 malam, time public holiday, time waktu berbuka puasa di bulan puasa (of course la!), mungkin ada... Dulu, bila aku balik lewat, datang keja weekend, x balik buka puasa, sume orang perli2 aku... Lantak la apa aku nak buat...

Tapi sekarang hati aku bukan 150% kat keja aku lagi... Aku bosan, coz kadang2 aku rasa macam aku dah try the best, tapi kenapa orang yang cooperate ngan aku x bagi aku full cooperation? Dulu masa aku buat KPKT jap, boleh je aku copy content 5 website sekali gus dlm seminggu, semata2 xnk kena marah, dan x nk orang lain kena marah (walaupun akhirnya akaun tu out of the lists)... Bila aku busy, org cakap, "eleh, pegang satu akaun je, kecoh!" Xpun ada gak orang cakap, "Setakat satu akaun, boleh lah cakap,"...

Pada aku pegang satu akaun la susah, coz aku kena compete dengan orang yang pegang banyak akaun, apa guna pegang satu akaun, tapi hasil x leh dibanggakan... Dan KENYATAANYA.... AKU FAILED! GAGAL menyempurnakan tugas yang diberikan pada aku, sebab aku x buat dengan baik... Walaupun aku rasa dah sehabis daya... All out, cuma untuk akaun ni...

Aku rasa aku x mampu lagi nak memberikan yang terbaik.... Kalau ada, bukan aku...orang lain...

Kenapa kita sering dipergunakan?

2009-03-12T21:14:00.002+08:00

Susah aku nak jawab, sebab aku pun penah rasa macam tu... Kadang-kadang serba salah nak balas balik tindakan atau perbuatan orang kat kita, sebab paling utama, orang tu ialah kawan baik kita jugak.... Hmmm... Cuma apa yang aku boleh buat, DIAM, dan SABAR JELA... Mungkin ada sebab tertentu kenapa orang pergunakan kita dan tindas kita, dan aku mempunyai kelemahan2 tertentu yang membuatkan aku senang dipergunakan iaitu -> cepat kesian kat orang...

...

2009-03-11T23:43:00.002+08:00

Hmmm... rindunye kat family.. rasa nak balik kampung sgt.. o ya... lagipun nak tunjuk new baby kat family, hehehe --> my viva....

Bila Bercinta Dengan Bf Orang....

2009-01-21T08:12:00.004+08:00

Penah ke? Aku mengaku aku penah, bukan aku yang gatal2 nak tekel bf orang. Aku dah tahu dia ada gf. Ok, meh aku citerkan macamana aku boleh bercinta dengan bf orang. FYI, aku bukan PERAMPAS!!!!!

Masa tu dalam tahun 2007, aku dah ada bf tapi hubungan kami agak suam2 kuku la, selalu gaduh dan sebagainya sebab masa tu dah 3 tahun berkapel. So, nak dijadikan aku dapat tawaran bekerja kat satu tempat ni sebagai CSO, kerja kat tempat yang biase2 je. Mamat yang aku maksudkan sebagai bf orang ni berpangkat lebih kurang HOD la... umurnya dalam 29 something masa tu. Aku namakan dia sebagai A saje k? Si A ni x la menarik sangat, x hensem (hitam2 manis), tinggi lampai tapi si A ni ada something yang boleh menarik perhatian orang.

Time keja pulak department aku akan banyak berurusan dengan dia. So selalu la kena jumpa si A ni. Kawan baik aku lak si wanie selalu duk kenen2 kan si A tu kat aku. Dalam hati aku memang slow2 aku dah tangkap cintan ngan mamat tu... yang aku duk risaunye dalam kepala otak aku, aku ni ade bf and aku pulak bajet mamat tu laki orang...

Lama kelamaan aku ngan dia berkawan baik and agak rapat la, masa tu aku xtaw lagi rupan2nya mamat tu dah ada gf, sebab cara dia bercakap ngan aku macam die tu single, bile aku tanye dia, tu la jawapan die.. Last2 dia kantoi ngan aku dia dah ada gf... Mase tu aku rasa malu sgt sebab, aku selalu sms dia, dia pun sama, kdg2 calling2 and dia nampak mcm dia ambil berat pasal aku.

Korang bayangkan la, berapa banyak aku habiskan masa aku untuk dia, kawan2 aku nasihatkan aku supaya jauhkan diri dari dia, langsung aku x dengar... sebab xtahan sangat aku berhenti keje, dan join spike program... masa tu aku dah stop cari dia, langsung XXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!! sebab aku benci lelaki penipu tu.Tapi aku kalah dengan perasaan aku sendiri dan si dia terus berlagak macam dia betul2 gilakan aku, terus berlagak macam aku ni penting dalam hidup dia. Dia selalu ganggu aku dengan mulut manis dia tu. Dan yang aku terkejutnya dia siap datang rumah aku.

Akhirnya aku percaya yang dia betul2 suka kat aku... Tapi betul la, Allah tu Maha Kuasa. Keraguan aku kat dia ada betulnya. Semasa aku tengah belek2 handphone dia, aku terjumpa gambar seorang perempuan dalam keadaan mengaibkan, rupanya tu gambar gf dia, aku apalagi, mengamukla.. sakit hati ni... memang dasar buaya x hensem yang
pandai berlakon, dia still berlakon depan aku. Diam2 aku curi no. phone gf dia dan aku berlagak macam biasa...

Masuk bulan kedua hubungan kami, dia pun mula la tukar keja, dan masa tu aku dah sikit2 tahu perangai dia.. Dia ni jenis xboleh gf xde depan mata, atau lebih tepat lagi, jenis x boleh tengok perempuan... Kawan2 aku dah mula bercerita perangai dia... Aku ni dah mula hilang sabar sebab dia asyik berjanji nak tinggalkan gf dia tapi xbuat2 pun. Aku xpaksa dia. Tapi dia yang cakap,"Saya dah x tahan dengan dia, saya akan tinggalkan dia sebab saya syg awak... dia tu orang yang x boleh tahan dengan family saya. Saya janji saya kawin dengan awak". Tu la kata2 mamat juling tu.. Eee geramnye...

Aku ni confident la dengan kata2 mamat tu, lalu aku membuat tindakan berani dengan sms gf dia, "Jangan kacau A lagi, kami dah nak kawin", Aku tak rasa tindakan aku tu bodoh (walaupun mula2 aku rasa bodoh).. Last2 gf dia sms aku... Tak perlu la aku citer apa yang dia cakap.. Cukupla aku cakap, perempuan tu suh aku tinggalkan mamat tu... Alasannya dia dah tua.. Dia pulak terlalu mengagungkan bf dia tu... what a shit? she's a nice 'woman' tapi boleh bertahan dengan mamat tu... Memang la setia tapi nilai perempuan tu kat mata aku is "0"... Coz dia rela dipergunakan (duit, dan 'sebagainya').

Mamat tu citer semua benda yang dia buat ngan gf dia, dan gf dia tu boleh lak cakap mamat tu mmg suka burukkan dia... ntahla...

Ok, berbalik kepada tindakan aku tadi, kalau aku xbuat macam tu, aku xkan tahu dia tipu aku... Dan aku xkan tahu semuanya yang dia buat.. berapa perempuan yang dia mainkan... Dia memang buaya....Lepas dia tahu apa aku buat, dia tiba sms aku, "Lebih baik kita jadi kawan je," .Tula hukuman yang aku terima, sedangkan dari awal, dia yang buat silap...aku pun salah sebab percaya kata2 dia...

Masa tu aku betul2 macam lost sangat.. Aku xlalu makan, dah la dia buat macam tu betul2 2-3 hari sebelum aku pegi KL (untuk kerja). Tapi aku pelik sebab dia menangis masa jumpa aku (after the break up). Dia cakap dia memang sayang aku n buat keputusan mcm tu sebab perempuan tu kacau family dia. Masa tu aku still caya kat dia sebab still sayang... Dan dia still bagi aku harapan...

X aku sangka dia cepat berubah, setibanya aku kat KL bermacam maki hamun yang dia bagi aku... Sampai dia pesan jangan ganggu dia lagi.. Siot punye buaya... So aku xkacau dia dah dan memulakan kehidupan baru di KL. Satu hari masa tengah jalan-jalan dengan housemate dia call aku, tapi aku xsempat nak jawab...Pastu dia sms aku, bukan dia yang hantar sms marah2 kat aku tu, gf dia... Ntahla, xtaw mana satu betul. Dia pun selalu gak beritahu rindu kat aku..

Masa tu aku rasa sayang balik kat dia, tapi lepas balik kampung perasaan benci kat dia datang balik coz dia dah ada gf baru tapi dia still connected dengan gf lama dia tu....Memang playboy la dia ni..dan dia siap ajak perempuan tu kawen...
lepas tu perempuan tu tanak...dan aku mulala melupakan dia dan aku berjaya..Sekarang dengar citer dia dah kawen dengan gf lama dia.. but still close ngan perempuan lain.. Wallahualam...

Sweet Sacrifice

2009-01-20T09:08:00.005+08:00

What is your sweetest sacrifice? It's true that we're all a little insane. And have u ever sacrifice something that is unpleasant, useless or somewhat. Of course you have rite? According to Answers.com, sacrifice is defined as:

-The act of offering something to a deity in propitiation or homage, especially the ritual slaughter of an animal or a person.
-A victim offered in this way.
-Forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim.
-Something so forfeited
-Relinquishment of something at less than its presumed value.

-Something so relinquished.
-A loss so sustained.

Forget about the definition, the important thing is, what doew it means to u?As for me sacrifice means, the sweetest thing we do, to make someone happy, wether, your parents, friends or lover. But have u ever met someone that appreciated what you've done...? 50-50... Sometimes, a friend didn't realize that we've did a lot thing to her or him.. and when they met someone better than us that can give us everything, they will forget us.... But the most important thing is our sincerity... I don't wanna blab anymore... So here's Sweet Sacrifice lyric of Evanescence... Hope you'll like the lyric.

It's true, we're all a little insane.
But it's so clear,
Now that I'm unchained.
Fear is only in our minds,
Taking over all the time.
Fear is only in our minds but it's taking over all the time.
You poor sweet innocent thing.
Dry your eyes and testify.
You know you live to break me. Don't deny.
Sweet sacrifice.
One day I'm gonna forget your name,
And one sweet day, you're gonna drown in my lost pain.
Fear is only in our minds,
Taking over all the time.
Fear is only in our minds but it's taking over all the time.
You poor sweet innocent thing.
Dry your eyes and testify.
And oh you love to hate me don't you, honey?
I'm your sacrifice.
(I dream in darkness
I sleep to die,
Erase the silence,
Erase my life,
Our burning ashes
Blacken the day,
A world of nothingness,
Blow me away.)
Do you wonder why you hate?
Are you still too weak to survive your mistakes?
You poor sweet innocent thing.
Dry your eyes and testify.
You know you live to break me.
Don't deny.
Sweet sacrifice.

Mari Kita Renungkan

2009-01-09T10:48:00.001+08:00

Ya Allah, ku mohon pertolonganmu

2009-01-08T13:54:00.005+08:00

Marilah kita sama-sama mendoakan keselamatan umat Islam di Palestin, semoga kekejaman tentera Z dapat dihapukan, Aminnn.... Bacalah Surah al fil: "A'lam tara kay fafa 'ala rob'buka bi as-haa bil fil "A'lam yaj'al kaydahum fi tadhli lin Wa arsala 'alayhim 'tayran ababil "Tarmihim bi hijaratinm min sijjil Fa ja'ala hum ka asfin ma'kul" Lipat gandakan doa ini.

"Tidak akan berlaku kiamat sehinggalah orang-umat Islam berperang dgn orang-orang Yahudi (di sebuah tempat).Orang2 Islam akan membunuh mereka (iaitu orang Yahudi) beramai2 sehinggalah apabila mereka( Yahudi )bersembunyi di sebalik batu & pokok2,tiba2 pokok & batu bersuara menjerit memanggil umat Islam agar membunuh orang2 Yahudi itu..kecuali pokok “Gharqad” kerana ia adalah pokok Yahudi…"

Hypocrite

2009-01-07T18:22:00.001+08:00

Bubble gum, brainiac, baby girl , ultra brat

Angst schmangst no thanks

Hope my record doesn't tank

Sailor moon, rainbow brite , anime

Amy lee life, protools all the way

Don't try to label me hypocrite cause I will do what I want to

Some will say that I'm counterfeit but I will be who I want to

Candy floss, antipop, star search

Lolipop, mannufactured skate punk, wannabe, never was

Nerd, geek, superfreak, i'm a movie of the week

Dadys girl...

Some will look at me and vomit but I will look how I want to.

Some will hear me and not get it but I will say what I want to.

DON'T TRY TO LABLE ME HYPOCRITE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I WILL DO WHAT I WANT TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frantic I

2009-01-07T17:21:00.002+08:00

I know it's hard to do this
To pretend and walkaway
Like i'm the one to blame
I'm still want to leave...
Still remember the day
You said, "No need to tell anyone,"
So that you can act like a stranger
And hiding behind the smile
It all make sense now
I hope that u will understand the way you make me feels and the way you ignore me
I won't look back to you
I want to find myself again
Back to someone I've lost my faith

This truth drive me into madness

2009-01-05T20:53:00.002+08:00

I feel so alone, i need someone to talk, someone to share, and yet dat someone i love to share with has gone forever...

I dont know why i always fear something that i dont know what it is... and my eyes always blinded with tears. I tried to get rid of this thing that messing up my mind... I always thinking of something badly and negatively. What was i thinking? Arghhh... Though i have someone special, i dont feel like telling him is gonna be ok. i dont think say...

Sometime i fear of dreaming... I try to not close my eyes coz i wont sleep, i scared... i pray to God, to save me... It helps but not everyday. Im almost have to face the bad day...

What's wrong with me.... Maybe i was thinking of him dat dead a long time ago, someone's closed to me... i need him...my bro....

???

2009-01-05T20:43:00.003+08:00

Aku masih teringat zaman kanak2 ku
Segalanya indah
Tapi perlahan-lahan perasaan ini dibayangi
dengan apa yang aku dengar tadi

Dimanakah ruang yang tinggal untuk aku luahkan hati
Dimana?
Segalanya tak adil
Aku tidak mahu tahu apa-apa lagi

Masih aku teringat, cahaya suria
panas tapi tenang
Tapi kini yang tinggal cuma kesuraman

Dimanakah lagi ruang yang tinggal untuk aku?
Dimana orang mengenali aku
Dimana aku punya tempat mengadu....

Sorila kalau bahasa melayu aku atau nukilan aku ni cam hampeh... i dedicate this to someone dat left me and never ever gonna back to me... i hope you rest in peace.

Hari-hari Yang Indah

2009-01-03T23:21:00.002+08:00

Dalam life aku x banyak benda menarik yang berlaku. Takde banyak benda yang happening, mungkin 3,4 tahun dulu adala.. Masa aku tengah mencari diri aku sendiri, banyak benda yang happening berlaku dan aku telah melalui bermacam frasa kehidupan yang aku xperlu ingat lagi dan xperlu lagi aku kembali ke masa lalu.

Perkara terbaik yang penah berlaku kat diri aku lepas aku keluar dari masa gelap aku ialah :

1. Aku mula dapat ramai kawan

2. Aku belajar bersabar, maksud aku kat sini, setiap kali aku marah, aku xyah serang2 orang atau tangan2 orang

3. Aku masih cuba berfikiran positif walaupun x 100%

4. Aku selalu dapat apa aku nak, aku cuba dan aku dapat (contohnye mase study, aku dari budak yang xtaw ape sampai aku mampu ajar org especially html)

Aku sedar xsemestinya semua yang aku lalui semuanya best.. xjugak.. Tapi aku hepi.. Hepi dan hepi sangat.

Hari-hari indah yang aku lalui

1. Pengalaman pertama aku bekerja dulu
Aku bekerja dalam keadaan enjoy sangat, keja ni memerlukan aku menjadi aktif dan juga berkomunikasi dengan client, masa ni tahap confident aku agak tinggi. (dan sekarang dah turun mungkin disebabkan perkara2 lain)

2.Beli First Fon dengan duit sendiri
Mase ni bapak aku x berapa setuju sangat aku beli henfon.. Sebenarnya aku jarang bersms depan bapak aku.. SEGAN... hehe

3. Menang Futsal tornament yang dianjurkan oleh team SUKASKALI..
First game yang kitorang main, kalau x silap aku dianjurkan SWS, kitorang failed. Second time main, iaitu tornament ni kitorang jadi champion.. Aku ada gak menyumbang goal, walaupun aku x sehebat lina, yang aku rasa pemain terbaik team aku.. Role aku mase tu macam playmaker la.

Sebenarnya banyak benda2 menarik yang terjadi dalam kehidupan.. Tapi kenapa kita lebih suka ingat zaman2 sedih kita... Aku pun xtaw...

Written by Nad, Friendster Blog on December 21, 2008 @3:39 am

Wanna Say....

2009-01-03T23:20:00.001+08:00

Hye.. Assalamualaikum…

Hmm.. kepada sesape yang penah terasa hati ngan aku samada sedar atau x sedar, aku mintak maaf byk2.. aku sedar yang kadang2 aku ni terlaser dan ter ape lagi. kestressan aku membuatkan kadang2 aku ni out of control… Aku masih cuba control perangai aku ni… (mungkin ada yang taw aku berusaha control panas baran aku ni)..

I love ye’ all.

Maafla ye.

Written by Nad in Friendster Blog on December 20, 2008

Out From Under

2009-01-03T22:50:00.000+08:00

Breathe you out
Breathe you in
You keep coming back to tell me
you’re the one who could have been
and my eyes see it all so clear
It was long ago and far away but it never disappears
I try to put it in the past
Hold on to myself and don’t look back

I don’t wanna dream about
All the things that never were
Maybe I can live without
When I’m out from under
I don’t wanna feel the pain
What good would it do me now
I’ll get it all figured out
When I’m out from under

So let me go
Just let me fly away
Let me feel the space between us growing deeper
And much darker every day
Watch me now and I’ll be someone new
My heart will be unbroken
It will open up for everyone but you
Even when I cross the line
It's like a lie I’ve told a thousand times

I don’t wanna dream about
All the things that never were
Maybe I can live without
When I’m out from under
I don’t wanna feel the pain
What good would it do me now
I’ll get it all figured out
When I’m out from under

And part of me still believes
When you say you’re gonna stick around
And part of me still believes
We can find a way to work it out
But I know that we tried everything we could try
So let's just say goodbye
Forever

I don’t wanna dream about
All the things that never were
Maybe I can live without
When I’m out from under
I don’t wanna feel the pain
What good would it do me now
I’ll get it all figured out
When I’m out from under

I don’t wanna dream about
All the things that never were
Maybe I can live without
When I’m out from under
I don’t wanna feel the pain
What good would it do me now
I’ll get it all figured out
When I’m out from under
When I'm out from under

Tak Suka

2009-01-03T22:03:00.002+08:00

Arghhhhhhhhhhh... Aku demam lagi.... selalunya aku ni susah nak demam, kenapa aku demam...

Letih sebab selalu balik keje lewat
X suka minum air masak
X suka makan buah
Kesemua di atas

Well, aku rasa jawapan yang ke-4, kali ni dah kali kedua aku demam dalam tempoh yang kurang dari 3bulan.. Aku memang selalu balik keja lambat, banyak keja, nak kena scan la, nak kena tu la.. sedangkan website yang aku jaga satu je... huhu.. mesti ada orang ingat aku x buat keja kan... lantakla, yang penting aku tahu apa aku buat. sekarang ni pulak, kena redo org chart untuk team selangor and review enhancement checklist.... In the same time im still ada keja nak buat... edit the images that i scanned from EPU's publication. Dahla scan, lepas tu edit pulak.. benda2 remeh yang amik masa lama untuk disiapkan... huhu...

Sebenarnya aku pun xsuka sakit2 macam ni... Sape suka, susahla sakit2 ni.. Kalau ada ayah bolehla aku nak mengada2 ngan dia, kalau ada mak, boleh la suh mak buli adik buat keja2 rumah... huhu... tu pun kalau aku kat terengganu... ada jugak orang yang take care...

Kalau boleh aku pun xnak datang keje awal, xnk balilk lambat tapi aku ada keje... Apa2 pun sekarang aku tetap kena buat keje...k, la, nak edit benda2 ni jap... banyak lagi...

Cool Firefox Adds On

2009-01-03T21:46:00.006+08:00

Disini aku nak namakan beberapa adds on untuk browser firefox yang aku rasa agak best... and i hope that u will try to figure out these cool things...

1. Themes - Cool themes untuk firefox, macam2 theme yang kita boleh apply kat firefox browser kita ni, macam aku, aku guna theme "Nightmare Before Christmas"... So COOL!2. Firebugs - tool ni sesuai untuk developer (programmer), time kita browse website, kita boleh check DOM/Script web yang kita browse tu and kita boleh edit source n immediately nampak benda yang akan berubah.. contohnya, resize imej (html) dan sebagainya.. Perubahan yang kita lakukan akan hilang lepas kita reload page tadi
3. Web Developer - tool ni boleh digunakan untuk disable kan css dan sebagainya dlm webpage yang kita sedang view.

Happy New Year 2009

2009-01-02T09:02:00.002+08:00

Selamat tahun baru diucapkan kepada semua, semoga kita sentiasa diberkati dan dimurahkan rezeki....

This is a beauty calendar that i downloaded from Smashing Magazine...Hope you enjoy!!!

Rasa Nak Makan....

2009-01-01T20:58:00.000+08:00

Terasa nak makan roti ngan scramble eggs je.... sape2 yang nk try buat, this is the recipe :-

Bahan2 :

- 4 biji telur ayam
- mentega/marjerin dsbg secukup rasa(jangan pakai minyak tau, nt x besh)
- garam & serbuk lada sulah/hitam
- 1 sudu krim segar atau pun krim putar (nak pakai susu cair pun xpe)
2 camb mentega
- Mayonis (jika perlu)

Cara2 :

- Well, macam biasalah, pukul telur. Kacau telur sekali dengan susu cair, garam dan lada sulah/hitam
- Panaskan kuali, masukkan mentega
- Masukkan adunan telur tadi, kacau telur tu sampai jadi keras2 sikit
- Masukkan baki mentega dan krim, kacau lagi hingga sebati. Telur akan masak dengan kepanasan kuali, tak perlu memasak di atas api kerana telur akan menjadi keras. Utk mendapatkan telur yg lebih halus 'ketulnya', gunakan pemutar 'belon' (balloon whisk).
- SIAP. kalau ada sapa2 yang suka makan roti+scramble eggs dengan mayonis pun ok..best sikit... Selamat mencuba!

Free CSS layout

2008-12-29T16:29:00.005+08:00

Open Source Templates

15 impressive templates

OSWD

Hundreds of templates and layouts of all possible kinds.

OSWT

A huge collections with search- and sort-functions. With annoying advertisement.

Maxdesign

23 layouts and design solutions

CSSplay

Stu Nicolls presents dozens of free professional layouts. Sometimes a permission to use layouts is required.

Changingman

Beautiful liquid 3-col-layout.

Mollio

Seven variations of one template, incl. style guides as .pdf-files.

Six Shooter Media

15 Templates

Yahoo! UI Library: Grids CSS

A complex solution for many problems you might ever have: grid design is a principle well-known from image editors and layout tools.

CSS Design Templates

12 Templates

ThreeColumnLayouts, by CSS Discuss

Collection of 3-column-templates, gathered from a dozen of sources on the Web.

CSS Intensivstation

15 Layouts

CSSFILL

Small collection for personal web-sites

CSS Frames Layouts

Frames are also possible with CSS

Ex-Designz

98 (X)HTML-based CSS-templates

Code-Sucks

6 templates and various layouts with 2-4 columns.

Jimmy Lin

8 simple templates

Layout Gala

40 professional Layouts for fresh and serious online-presentations.

Little Boxes

16 Layouts, classic.

Solucija

19 Templates

Mari Kita Selamatkan Islam

2008-12-28T13:04:00.004+08:00

Ya Allah, tadi tiba-tiba gatal tangan nak search blog2 kat blogspot ni, x sangka pulak aku terjumpa satu blog yang menghina Islam secara terang-terangan dan yang paling penting blog tu adalah dalam bahasa Melayu. Dan dari komen2 pelawat blog tu, dia beragama ISLAM, dan dia juga berjaya mempengaruhi orang lain dengan tulisan nya. Aku sedih sangat, xtaw la kenapa, bila aku baca fakta yang memutar belitkan agama Islam, aku rasa macam nak hentam je orang tu.... Xperlu la aku masukkan sekali url blog tu sebab aku rasa x guna dan yang penting, semoga Allah sentiasa tetapkan iman aku ni... Aminnnnnnnnn... Dan kita sebarkanlah kebaikan, supaya ISLAM kekal dihati, jangan mudah terpedaya dengan benda2 mengarut macam ni, jadila umat Islam yang tetap pendirian... walaupun aku ni xde baik sangat tapi aku masih tahu apa yan betul dan salah.... ALLAHUAKBAR!!!

Updating

2008-12-16T18:51:00.002+08:00

Hai.. im currently updating and changing my blog.. So, i'll be back soon coz me also trying to develop my own blog design.. k.. c ya later...

I Cant Get No Satisfaction Baby

2008-12-14T16:14:00.003+08:00

hm.. apakah aku semakin gemuk ataukah berat badan aku je makin bertambah… sape penah tengok aku dulu2 macamana… hehe..mmg la berbeza…

k, aku nk tanye ape beza aku dan dulu, nk tanye korang la..len sgt ke ar.. hehe..dulu berat aku 39 - 43 je..sekarang berat aku 56kg..apa dah jadi ng aku.. haha.. nk wat camana aku ni kuat makan sgt… n lepas stop futsal n others, aku x bersenam pun..

Hari ni setelah berbulan lamanya, aku bersenam ng housemate aku… Pagi2 aku duorang turun bawah ng tangga je dari level 12… pastu round /jogging kat area depan tu dlm 4 round la jugak..pastu naik tangga dlm keadaan cepat…ke tg.12 umah aku… letih tapi berbaloi kalu selalu diamalkan.. lepas ni kitorang nk beli beskal.. sape nk sponsor? sponsor la..hehe

Aku Benci Kawan Cam S**l...

2008-12-14T16:08:00.001+08:00

Xtaw la sebenarnya apa aku nak tulis kat sini. Korang penah x terasa ada orang gunakan korang untuk kepentingan je… Aku ni selalu je rase macam tu, orang gunakan kita bila perlu je, bila kita x dapat tolong dia, dia kutuk belakang, sedangkan kita tolong dia lebih banyak dari apa yang dia penah buat utk kita. Bila nak mintak tolong kan main manis mulut tu, rasa nak cili2 je… Org ingat aku ni diam2 je… Sampai masa nanti jagala. Aku x nak jaga hati orang dah, sebab dia x penah jaga hati aku… Aku xkan tolong, aku dah serik, apa yang aku dapat? CUMA CACIAN DAN KUTUKAN…

Oi, kawan, tima kasih la buat mcm tu… Aku terima kasih sangat2… DAn igtla, kalau ko terus ngan perangai macam ni, satu masa xde org akan tolong ko lagi…

Yang pasti bukan aku… Xkan sekali-kali.. k, babai… gudnite

Twilight

2008-12-14T12:56:00.004+08:00

Hi, for such a long time that I didn't update my blog... Well, hey, last night, around 23:45, I'm hang out with my man, watching movie... 'TWILIGHT'... After watching, I'm feeling different, the plot, the story, moving around, playing in my mind. Guys... Go! See this movie... It is a romantic-vampire story... Romantic? That's my thought anyway. Edward Cullen is too cute! Ok, FYI, 'Twilight' movie is an adaption of 'Twilight' Novel, the best selling novel.

'Twilight' is an action-packed, modern-day love story between a teenage girl and a vampire. Bella moves to Forks to live with her father, Charlie after her mother re-marries Phil. And she's schooled there... She's beauty so that several boys in the school try to shy her attention. And she has new friends, I could not remember their name... Hehehe...

And then during recess, her new friends talking about the Cullens which are pretty weird family. One of the family members is Edward Cullen, who is pale but cute, a boy unlike any she's ever met.. :P .

When Bella sits next to Edward Cullen in class on her first day of school, Edward seems utterly repulsed by her. After tricking a family friend, Jacob Black, into telling her local tribal legends, Bella concludes that Edward and his family are vampires who drink animal, as opposed to human, blood. Edward reveals that he initially avoided Bella because the scent of her blood was so desirable to him. Over time, Edward and Bella fall in love.

FYI, I really love every time Edward stares at Bella. SO CUTE....

But there's also other vampires in the story, the vampire that different. The unalike the Cullens.

And then... I guess you should watch the movie... Well... It's a good story... Owh... I love Edward...

From My Cam

2008-12-03T09:09:00.001+08:00

I Know I’m Sucks But At Least I Tried And I’m Tired Now

2008-11-23T12:41:00.000+08:00

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAATERTEKAN
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Hadiah Befday Aku Untuk Tahun Depan 2009

2008-11-18T20:14:00.002+08:00

Hehe... ni merupakan hadiah befday yang dipost oleh seorang kawan aku... Well, thanx la for the present.. It's nice.. Especially the koala bear and the Evanescnce pendant.. and what i've heard about the pendant is, pendant tu is limited edition... Well, thanx.. I dont have to name her i guess... Coz she kinda hate this... :)

Aku Penat

2008-11-16T17:44:00.002+08:00

Kebelakangan ni aku rasa macam penat dan malas sangat, xtaw la nape. Rasa nak balik kampung, rasa xnak keja, macam2 rasala ada... Aku rindu mak... Sian mak sakit... Tapi ada keja lak kat sini... Bukan sengaja xnak balik... Aku janji raya haji ni aku balik kampung jenguk mak, ayah, and siblings...

Penah x rasa penat sangat sampai menangis...? Aku macam ni la, aku xtaw la macamana aku punya keja, yang aku taw, aku dah bagi apa yang patut, kadang2 xsempat nak bersosial cam orang lain... maksud aku bukan sosial pelik2... kadang2 malas nak kuar jalan2 sebab penat... Eee... kalau la sekarang ni kat Terengganu, beshnya, leh drive pusing2... walaupun xde apa kat Terengganu tu, aku selesa 'hidup' kat sana, dekat dengan mak, maklumla mak x sihat. Nasib baik adik2 sambung belajar kat terengganu, ada jugak orang tengokkan mak ngan ayah...

Adei..penat la... aku ni lak makin chubby... dah makin malas nak bersenam, nak ape... semua malas... ARGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Rasa nak jerit kuat2 je... AKU LETIHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.... PENATTTTTTTTTTTTTT... BENCI!!!!!

Kerja...Apa Itu Kerja....

2008-11-15T23:25:00.002+08:00

Kita pergi kerja sebab :

1. Takut bos.... haha
2. Bosan duk umah... hehe
3. X taw sebab apa kena pegi kerja
4. Saje je
5. Parent suruh
6. Nak simpan duit (parents, kawen, keta)
7. Terpaksa (ikut ati xnak pun gi kerja)
8. Semua diatas

Takut nak kerja sebab :

1. Takut xleh deliver kerja tu
2. Mmm... Xpandaila
3. Xconfident, bila communicate ngan orang mesti shaky nanti
4. Ala, kawan2 xde, macamana nk kerja kat situ, takutla, nanti xde geng
5. Semua diatas

Faedah bekerja ni

1. Gaji - to live my life (topup, makan, pakai, mak ayah)
2. Gain knowledge - leh belajar banyak benda baru
3. Future - terjamin sket masa depan sebab dah kerja (especially govmt la)
4. Boleh mengisi masa lapang
5. Leh guna internet free kat ofis
6. Semua diatas

Keburukannya (ada keburukan jugak yer....haha)

1. Letih - Kalau dah keja 24-7 mana x letihnya, mata pun lebam
2. Bila dah letih, nanti jadi malas
3. Kadang2 xpuas hati, gaji ciput
4. Xleh tengok tv, men game
5. Semua diatas

P/S : Semua diatas adalah rekaan semata-mata, mungkin benar dan ada kaitan dengan aku atau sesiapa sahaja... hehe... k, hepy working... keja rajin2 ye... :)

Amy Lee And Evanescence

2008-11-15T23:00:00.000+08:00

Amy Lee? Kenapa nak cakap pasal dia? Siapa Amy Lee sebenarnya? Amy Lee is my favorite singer ever. She has the most beautiful voice i've ever heard. She is the lead vocalist of Evanescence (the gothic or alt.metal band) and classically-trained pianist.

Aku suka dia sebab kebanyakan lagu Evanescence ni ada kaitan ng kehidupan kita, lagu2 yang ditulis oleh Amy Lee kebanyakannya 'dark epic'. Hmm... Tapi ada gak lagu2 yang liriknya cantik cam lagu 'Anywhere', lagu ni sebenarnya lagu lama Evanescence sebelum dorang jadi recording artis. Semua lagu Evanescence kalau kita dengar, easily will haunt us... Especially lirik yang kena ngan jiwa, tambah pulak suara Amy Lee pun haunting.
Macamana tertubuhnya Evanescence? Ok, meh nak citer, Amy tubuhkan band ni dengan Ben Moody. First dorang jumpa kat kem remaja, Ben terdengar alunan piano yang cambesh oleh si Amy. Tu la sejarah awalnya, lepas tu dorang mula la aktif ngan akustiknya sound. Tapi lagu2 evanescence masa ni x rock sgt, cuma bolehla disebut sebagai beautiful goth sound....

Xlama lepas tu, pada March 4, 2003, dorang telah kuarkan album Fallen, dimana album ni la yang jadi titik permulaan Evanescence menjadi glamer.... Dan dalam masa sama jugak media mengaitkan Amy & Ben = couple.. Xtaw la betul ke x... Selepas beberapa tahun bersama, akhirnya Ben meninggalkan Evanescence, Ben bagi alasan, "creative differences", xtaw la mana satu yang betul, and Amy said, "...we'd gotten to a point that if something didn't change, we wouldn't have been able to make a second record". She also said "We're finally a real band, not just Ben and I and a few others thrown together". Lantak la dorang ni, aku x campur.

Xlama lepas tu Amy mula la berkapel dengan vocalist Seether = Shaun Morgan, siap features lagi dalam lagu Broken, but the relationship wasnt that good. Dorang break n Amy cakap, Shaun ada masalah minum dan sebagainya. N Amy telah mendajalkan Shaun Morgan dalam lagu 2nd albumnya, The Open Door, Call Me When Your Sober.

Lepas album The Open Door, Evanescence still facing the same problem, kali ni band line up bertukar lagi, selepas Terry Balsamo menggantikan Ben Moody, Amy menggantikan John Le Compt dan Will Grey dgn lineup baru jugak.... Apa aku tulis berbeli2 ni... Amy telah menggunakan kuasa wanitanya untuk mem'fire' John n Will.... Nasib baikla John n Will memang dah ada project band sendiri iaitu Machina kalau aku x silap la, best of luck la untuk John n Will. Apa yang aku bace kat internet Amy cakap dorang join band ni untuk duit, untuk glamer la tu kot.. Xtaw la sape sebenarnya yang gila glamer, kalau tengok cover album Evanescence, gambar pun gambar Amy, kat lirik nye tu pun banyak gambar Amy.... Ntahla, no comment. Aku pun xfaham ngan Amy, memang sah dia ni mental...Tapi aku suka dia.. tih tih tih... Apa-apa pun mungkin ada sebab kenapa Amy buat macam tu.
Xlama selepas perpecahan tersebut Amy didapati berkata, "I AM EVANESCENCE".... faham2 la bila dia cakap macam tu kan, tanda mental n tanda gila kuasa la tu....
Okes, xnak cakap lagi pasal band, nk cakap pasal Amy... Amy merupakan seorang penyanyi yang mempunyai range vocal yang pelbagai dan dia jugak boleh hit highnote....Vocal Amy juga penah di classifiedkan sebagai mezzo-soprano....Yeah...memang besh apa vocal dia.
Amy punye latest activity ialah.... Dia nyanyi balik lagu Sally's Song untuk album Nightmare Revisited... Memang gothic gila ar suara Amy... Suka betul... Dan Amy juga plan untuk kuarkan album solo, lantak la Amy, apa2 pun... All the best... Mmmmuahhh!!!

We're All Are Little Insane

2008-11-05T09:00:00.004+08:00

Life goes through changes so fast, you think your life is great, than one of your best friends dies. Then you think you found someone you truly love, only to figure out, he doesn't love you back. You cry and cry and cry, but nothing changes. You realize, that you must accept things for what they are, and what they have made you become. Everything in life changes you in some way. Even the smallest things. If you do not accept these changes, you do not accept yourself. For through these changes brings new and greater things to you, making you wiser, as time progresses. To avoid these changes is a loss. You only live your life once. Do not waste a minute of it avoiding things. Let them come to you, and learn from them. There's always tomorrow.

Something From The Past

I experienced a little bit of trauma in my childhood, and I'm constantly trying to get back there. I'm obsessed with anything that takes me back to when I was 6,7,8.

That's why i love writing...it heals the wounds.

If all we ever sang about was how happy we are, we would be lying to ourselves. People try to escape their problems by getting drunk, partying and dancing them away. What really heals me is to sit down and think, face the facts, then you can get over it and be happy.

My Alter Ego

I guess i'm the one in a million who has this kind of problem...i dont know what's wrong with the feelings. it all in one.. sometimes i'm a betrayer, perfect planner, and sometimes i'm an angel in my devil's eye...

It leaves me in pain sometimes... like amy's singing, " It's true we're all a little insane"... yup, it's true, Amy... i try to control it but i definitely lost in most terrible way... i hate this confusion and when i'm feeling down, i feel much depressed and my behaviour's changed.... n i will do much stupid thing.

Sally's Song

2008-10-24T13:09:00.000+08:00

I sense there’s something in the wind
That feels like tragedy’s at hand
And though I’d like to stand by him
Can’t shake this feeling that I have
The worst is just around the bend

And does he notice my feelings for him?
And will he see how much he means to me?
I think it’s not to be

What will become of my dear friend?
Where will his actions lead us then?
Although I’d like to join the crowd
In their enthusiastic cloud
Try as I may, it doesn’t last

And will we ever end up together?
no, I think not, it’s never to become
For I am not the one

written by Nad / Shockmewithtears at Friendster Blog
October 18, 2008, 9.08 pm

For The Sake of Being With U

2008-10-24T12:35:00.003+08:00

Hari ni mood aku x berapa baik… Fikiran aku terganggu sangat2. Akhirnya kesabaran aku sudah sampai ke penghujungnya…. Kenapalah aku selalu macam ni? Selalu berjumpa dengan orang2 yang suka menyakitkan hati aku… Aku rasa aku dah cukup menjaga hati orang yang aku harapkan dapat menjaga aku,tapi silap..ape yang aku buat semuanya salah, semuanya x kena.. akhirnya semua kena kat aku balik… satu nasihat n tegura naku pun x makan. kadang2 rasa sia-sia je… sedar xsedar dah lapan bulan berkenalan, dah lapan bulan kenal ragam masing2, dah lapan bulan aku bina hidup baru aku dengan dia… ntahlah, mungkin aku ni x cukup sempurna atau mungkin kah aku ni seorang yang terlampau sensitif…mungkin la kan.

Perempuan ni kadang-kadang hatinya keras sangat tapi mudah cair dengan lelaki, mudah kesian kat lelaki…cuma…apa la yang lelaki ni pernah buat untuk kite… aku pun xtau… kadang2 aku rasa macam x serasi pulak aku dengan dia. aku tau, mesti ada orang cakap2 belakang pasal aku dengan dia… tapi aku x kisah sebab aku ikhlas… cuma satu je yang aku mintak, kalau betul kite memang dah xde jodoh, lepas kan aku…. kalau kau rasa kau boleh bahagiakan aku, boleh jaga aku sebagai seorang lelaki yang matang, tolongla hargai aku… sepertimana aku hargai kau.. dan aku harap kau tau, andai kata , kata pemutus keluar lagi dari mulut aku, itulah yang terakhir… aku tau kau x penah hargai aku… dan aku terus bersabar…cukupla…jangan sakitkan hati aku lagi…

written by Nad / Shockmewithtears at Friendster Blog
October 23, 2008, 7.31 am

The Wake Up

2008-10-24T12:32:00.003+08:00

All the thing that messed me up
Wont screw me anymore
I’m moving on and no one can stop

I never forget the way that they look at me
This time I never runaway
It’s not the same old me
This is what I want
I’m not that sick little girl
No, you can pulled me down

The time i’ve wasted I need to pay
They cant point the finger at me this time
They just cant
This anger burning inside
I will teach you a lesson
I’m not listening to anyone this time
I’m free

“Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it’s funny? What the fuck you think it’s doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying when you’re dirty ass in front of me ~
Korn -Thougthless”

written by Nad / Shockmewithtears at Friendster Blog
October 15, 2008, 8.42 pm

Life Turns Around

2008-10-14T18:29:00.010+08:00

Hmmm.. Letihnya...Sedar x sedar, dah sepuluh bulan aku bekerja kat sini. Dalam sepuluh bulan ni terlalu banyak benda yang berlaku dalam hidup aku terutamanya dalam persahabatan, pekerjaan dan kesihatan aku sendiri... So many thing that seems goes wrong but i still believe that someone still taking care about me. Kerja macam ni, kadang2 aku rasa jeles bila ada orang dapat buat apa yang aku x dapat buat tapi aku akan berusaha untuk improve diri aku walaupun kadang2 rasa macam x layak je nak terus berada kat sini...

I'm starting from...erm..xleh la nak kate zero because aku ade basic IT... cuma aku starting from the stupid mistake yang penah aku buat mase zaman2 study aku dulu, i'm the stupidest person.... And then bila aku start berfikir menjadi seorang 'manusia' aku sedar yang masa depan aku masih jauh, aku masih muda dan masih banyak yang perlu aku usaha dalam hidup aku. Dulu kalau aku buat sesuatu mesti sebab aku terdesak sangat, tapi sekarang aku buat semua keja aku dengan kerelaan aku sendiri, dengan niat yang x perlu aku cakap kenapa... okla.. aku cakap... semua ni aku buat sebab mak aku... the most noble person in the earth. But she's not here to say what she used to say, but mom, i will be strong and i believe in everything i've through, the pain that i fighting for half and a year that we both hope to heal..you here, your blessed always with me....

Kadang2 aku ni sensitif, cepat marah n cepat menangis...sebab aku rasa kelemahan aku yang paling...paling ape ek...kelemahan paling besar aku ialah...aku cepat panik n stress kalau aku x dapat siapkan keje aku... n aku selalu set dalam kepala aku, kl x siap keja, nt kena marah...HAHA...kelakar kan... Macam hari ni, xpasal2 ade yang kena marah ng aku... Apa-apa pun, sorry for everything...

"It doesn't matter what people say
And it doesn't matter how long it takes
Believe in yourself and you'll find
And it only matters how true you are
Be true to yourself and follow your heart"

Raya 2008

2008-10-09T18:56:00.004+08:00

3 hari sebelum raye...

Aku sampai K.Terengganu dalam pukul 4.00 petang... Sampai umah aku rest2 jap and tolong adik aku masak kat dapur... Adik aku ajak gi pasar.... Hmmm... malasnye nak drive, dahla baru sampai, letih pun x hilang lagi tapi nak wat camane... sebagai seorang kakak yang bertanggungjawab (cess!!!) aku bawak la adik aku ng kakak aku gi pasar, nasib baik ayah aku macam benarkan la...huhu

2 hari sebelum raye...
Mak cakap abang aku n family dia sampai dari johor petang ni... aku ng adik2 kemas2 la rumah yang bersepah cam gile... Akhirnya sebelum waktu berbuka abg aku selamat sampai....

Sehari sebelum raye...

Kelam kabut gile ngan persiapan raye... pening kepale...

Ni la benda pertama yang masak...tu pon dlm kol 11mlm... ayam masak merah...huhu... lagi satu masak kurma..best....
ni lak ayah aku..duk rebus ketupat nasik kat belakang umah...sambil ditemani oleh aku n adik aku...huhu...

Hari Raye....

Pagi2 bute, anak2 sedare aku da siap dah melawa....bese la budak2... abg dari kuantan wif his family dah smpai jugak cume tunggu kakak n family besar die je datang.

kat bawah ni mlm raye, men2 bunga api

tengokla dorang ni..duk pilih n habiskan kuih je...hehe..peace
taun ni xdapat bergambar satu family..masing2 balik awl...ni jela..gmbar family yg dapt dicapt

mak aku duk kire duit yng nak kasi kat cucu

ni mase g raye umah makcik
ni time g kfc ng adik and ank2 sedare ni pagi2 raye...dah menekan psp xpadan kecik

2008-09-29T16:05:00.002+08:00

28 October 2008

I'm hanging out with my sisters for Hari Raya preparation. before turn back home i found this Samsung S760 camera n i thought it was cheap so i bought.. It's been so long i wanted my own camera, but i borrowed some money frm my sister coz i aint got much money... so i hope that this hari raya i will capture a great moment here, in my hometown..

Well, goodbye then...Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri... Maaf Zahir & Batin

Selamat Hari Raya

2008-09-24T15:49:00.000+08:00

Word of The Day

2008-09-18T18:20:00.003+08:00

Hmmmm.... There's nothing i want to write exactly... I'm just bored.... Just now, i finished my PEMUDAH's portal thing.... Let me tell u a lil' bit about me, about myself...

I was a very sensitive person... Sometimes i think i'm outta my head... I cant even understand what i was thinking... I'm not a perfect person, i'm the most stubborn person u ever see... But it's pretty weird that i'm the bibichi (a person who loves to cry....yikes) person... There is something that always bring me down and the feeling i express it in my anger poem writing.

Sometimes i'm feeling empty and alone but they didnt understand it.I know how it feels to be completely alone and helpless, and the last thing you want to hear in that situation is. that everything's going to be OK. I'm happy being myself, i dont care anymore if they wanna make fun of me. all the f***ing thing, sometimes help in improve myself... it's moving sometimes. I dont care, juz dont care anymore what people say...i know i was s*** sometimes but i'm way cool than those b****es.

I've woken up from my long lost, from my mistakes, from the falling down.I can get over it now. Once, people used to look down at me, making fun of me, pull me down maybe becoz of my nothingness, becoz of my stupidity, becoz of my childish. I used to hide, I wish it would just go away. What would u do if u knew? But I guess I need to get around this n no one understands. I took a year with my silence broken n they laughed at me, I close my eyes but reality comes over me. n me, alwiz thinkin that I dream in darkness, I sleep to die so it will erase the silence, erase my life. I cry a lot - I dunno why, but it juz helps me. I cry over bad and good stuff - sometimes sadness can be beautiful, isn't it? Betulkan?

On my fall, there's not some person I'm going to call and hang out with. I was the only person who didn't have a group of frens-even the nerds had a group of friends, even though I have lots fren especially yatie, bella, ira, lia, adif, debab,(sowy panggil ko Debab, S) I feel emptying inside. As unhappy as it sometimes made me. It meant that I learned to be happy being alone. On my fall, they hate me, bullying me, that moment, taught me to be a FIGHTER, a HATER, n an AVENGER. all that they saw in my eyes that time was HATRED. Thanx for watching as I fall but not anymore. I keep pretending that was never hateful or mean to people, and they weren't to me. It all happened behind my back.

Then I used to think that I won't be held down by who I used to be anymore(I mean, what they said about me). I've fixed diz broken heart... i dont care what people say anymore, this is my life, i'm the only person who can decide who i loved, what i want and need. i'm the one who run my life, I DECIDE, only me... n i'm so sick of people lying n bragging some s*** story about me... could they please respect my privacy? why they want to turn me down? hey... i juz wanna be me.... i'm gonna live my life...

And now, the new me (starting 2006)...I've changed a lot... I'm doing my thing.... Living the life that i left before... my mom, my family... There's something pure about this...It's love and life....

"Too bad that you can quote the look on my face"

Untitled - xsiap lagi..xde idea

2008-09-17T13:26:00.003+08:00

Happiness
is the purpose of the life
to appreciate what we have
to do our own thing
no doubt...
It's your life

Sorrow
is something we fear
because
it's breaking the life
and we must have the courage to through it
Well that is life

Life
is the tie of our goal
to recognize the worse
to be able to handle
It's full with terrible pain
It's lot of joyful thing
But happiness doesn't mean everything has to be perfect
And sorrow doesn't mean incomplete or fate
It's how we live
And it's how we chose
On what we get and what we don't have

"Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live."

The Mistaken Road?

2008-09-17T12:49:00.001+08:00

I look in the mirror, the white dress i'm wearing

with the pale adorn my face
i long to be like this
i'm coming
i'm pain
sufferings
i know it's time to let go
but oh...i miss the only things that make me feels
the only things that understand the darkness i've through
the weeps lead me to lay
i shall betaken
i'm done...
i dont have to feel anymore...
i hate the world i'm living soon to be more fears glory in me...
i want to let go...
cause i dont know how to live i dont have a reason to give
relinquish the life i shall not live
i've given up...

P/S : Dont take seriously the words written in the poem... This is the normal feeling when someone feels betrayed, lonely... I write this with tears in my eyes... Sometimes when i mad... the words come out from my mouth n my hands write this kind of thing.... I've been face lots of thing in my life, the death, the pain, the joy....but hey...it's still me, a small little girl...

Stress

2008-09-12T20:48:00.000+08:00

End of August

----------------------------------------------------

Aku x taw nk buat ape kat umah bosan sangat, so aku ajak yati lepak n tido umah aku...FYI, she's the funniest person i've ever met...she's cute n funny....she loves to talk..MUCH!!! But she's a good friend... Owh ye..aku melepak sakan ng yati kat ruang tamu melayan citer kat astro.... xtaw nk buat ape... Esok nk g cari baju raye kat masjid jamek ng yati...2 hari lagi nk puase....

Midnight - Counting Down Merdeka at Merdeka Parade
----------------------------------------------------

Kitorang pegi dataran merdeka agak lewat.... seriknya pegi tempat2 mcm tu... mcm2 jenis org yang kami jumpa...kalau boleh aku x nak la pegi tempat mcm tu lagi... aku rasa mcm Anarchy in the UK lak masa kat dataran tu.. Bingit telinga.... berpinar mata melihat gelagat org melayu yg agak kebaratan.... akhirnya selesai jugak..kami sampai umah dengan selamat...

Early September (almost everyday)
-----------------------------------------------------

Hari pertama berpuase di ofis....Dengan keje yang agak stress... perut aku asyik berkeroncong lagu Britney Spears, "Gimme gimme, gimme gimme gimme FOOD!!!"... Argh banyaknya kerja yang aku nk kena siapkan.... EPU lagi, PEMUDAH lagi... Im so sick off it.... Quite lately....waktu tido aku agak terganggu.. Dalam kepala aku...keje, keje, keje je.... Kalau x siap bermakna aku akan menyusah kan org lain....

Few days later
-------------------------------------------------------

Alamak... banyak lagi xsiap ni...Diorang ni x faham ke? Naisb baik Zai datang tolong aku.. Kalau x...x jalan la keje aku... Esok awal2 pagi diorang nk present website ni kat client... Aku belek2 calendar bru je 4 hari kitorang upload n setup website ni.... Jam dah nak masuk kol2 am ni... Letihnye..nk balik tido.... Aku x sanggup dh.. Ape nk jadi esok..jadila....

Next Day ; 09092008
--------------------------------------------------------
Kesian kak miza present kat depan, aku pun xtaw nk buat ape... Client pulak mati2(nearly) mempertahankan website diorang... Tapi apakan daya... kami xsempat siapkan... Aku serba salah sgt... Thanx Zai, K.Miza, K.Nurul and others... Let us fight / struggling for the next meeting.

"Perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it"

Friends? Lie and Betrayal

2008-08-24T10:08:00.001+08:00

"Silence is the true friend that never betrays"

Hmmm... kenape aku cakap macam ni..betul la kan...sekarang aku rase lonely sgt... kawan2 banyak berubah... perlakuan dan segalanya... mungkin aku pun ade buat silap... cuma aku xfaham kenape keadaan sekarang berbeza sangat... berubah sangat...

Bila aku mintak tolong asyik bagi alasan ade keje je... last2 kantoi gak akt depan aku sendiri yang keje die sebenarnya xde la banyak sangat... aku x kisah, xmarah kalau dorang nak ade kawan2 baru.. who cares? tapi ingat la kat kawan lama ni... k, la aku kena sambung keje....poning daa...

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.

2008-08-20T21:39:00.000+08:00

Hey dad... i miss the way ur bullying me
Sister...the catfights always come in my nightmare... Owh..i miss you all...muah&f=Nadirah&px=32.9&py=51.45&i=2&dom=http://www.spider-layouts.com" quality="high" wmode="transparent" width="385" height="405" name="Love Letters" align="middle" allowScriptAccess="samedomain" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" />
Make Love Letters at spider-layouts.com

I'm Currently Listening to Evanescence - Understanding (though it's very old song of EV)

2008-08-20T08:58:00.000+08:00

In my opinion,it's about pain, it's about heartache, it's about someone that we cant forget...it also about a relationship as at the point where u know that it has to end because it's just being stifling, and yet you dont want to, the chorus seems to have two meanings, whatever is coming thru the two people cannot be forgotten, so they cannot go on, and yet, the past cannot be forgotten either so you don't really want to let it all go, to the person in the story loosing such a large part of her/his life is so hard that it feels as if (s)he is dying...

Understanding Lyrics

The Colors in Life

2008-08-18T09:49:00.002+08:00

There's so many colors in our lives... Thanks a lot for His Creation that bring life many of wonderful things.

Life in Blue

The sweeping color of sea and sky, blue is a common thread in nature, seen in the cerulean of a whale shark (pictured here), the indigo of a stormy night, and the cobalt of a peacock's feathers. Over the centuries, the hue has come to represent calm, cold, mysticism, and sadness.

Life in Purple

Purple is a versatile color. Combining the fire of red with the serenity of blue, it has the ability to soothe as well as excite passion. Purple is prevalent in nature in everything from eggplants to amethysts, and humans have adopted it as a symbol of royalty.

Here, Ross Bridge in Tasmania is cloaked in a mauve sunset. The beautiful sandstone span, built by convicts in 1836, is one of Australia's oldest and is decorated with an impressive array of carvings.

Life in Orange

The pastel-orange of the Grand Canyon's sandstone walls dominates the view from the vantage known as SB Point. The canyon’s rock layers display a geological history some two billion years old.

Life in Red

Nothing can dampen the enthusiasm of Taipei schoolchildren gathered for a celebration of Double Ten, Taiwan's national day. Double Ten remembers the October 10, 1911, revolution that ended China’s last dynasty.

Life in Yellow

Encouraged to bloom by rare rainstorms, a sea of wildflowers blankets the sand dunes of Australia's Simpson Desert National Park. The area averages fewer than 6 inches (15 centimeters) of rain per year.

Life in Green

Two boys share a nighttime bicycle ride down the darkened streets of Hoi An, Vietnam. The city's old town is a World Heritage site filled with historic buildings from the 15th to 19th centuries.

Life in Brown

A chocolatier uses decorative accents to create a sweet that pleases both the eye and the palate. These gourmet chocolates are from Godiva Chocolatiers in Brussels, Belgium.

Source from : NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC

Mother

2008-08-12T14:10:00.004+08:00

Mother...
Is there ever a moment that i'm out of the line?
Is there ever a moment that i hurt u and make u cry?

Is there ever a moment that u proud of me?

IS there ever a moment that u missing me?

Mother...
Can u forgive me again
for hating, for lying, for swearing
that deep in my heart i didnt mean to do so

Mother...
Please forgive me again
everytime i'm losing control
i turn back to u
that deep in my heart i know u lead to the truth

And Mother...
I miss u so much
I love u so much
I feel i want to call u
Feel like i want to hold u
And i wont losing u

Forgive me, Mother
There's never a moment that i forget u...
There's never a moment that i can forgive
What i've done to u

Forgive me...
I didnt mean to hurt u...
I love u...mother

Created by Fallen Angel @ Naa
shockmewithtears.blogspot.com

Are Men Supposed To Be Girl's Best Friend? What Do You Think
	Agree
	Disagree
	Maybe, but you should left him and don't rock the boat

Field of Innocence - My Deepest Thought

I'm back blogger

I'm moving to Tumblr

World Cup : 3rd Place - GERMANY \o/

I miss you, my 'close' fren

Why All My Friends Are So Shady Lately?

Hi - 29 April 2010

Original - Final Time

Original - Lie

Aku yang kebosanan

Salam

Testing... aku punye hasil kerja terbaru

I love my job

Done with Makeup Crew website

Salam Lebaran

Two World Collide - Demi Lovato

New Hamster

A Walk To Remember

Finally

Again...

Awak...

The Difference (My Original Poem)

My Immortal

Is this fair?

Tak Suka ...

Tagged by who???

By Demi Lovato - Don't Forget

Are Men Supposed To Be Girl's Best Friend?

Updating

Tag Dari Miss Aja

We Should Just... Break!!!

Thanks for hurting me... this is what i feel...

SKALI Futsal Challenge 2009

Pasrah

Mom...

Resigning?

Skali Lagi....

My Baby

Start of Something New

Subhanallah...

*to Damien*

Sekadar Fesyen

End of April

Apa aku tgh buat?

Blog Status

forever gone

People Are Strange

Need A Little Help

You Hurted Me My Frens

Someone asked me this...

Blabber 17042009

Selamat Pengantin Baru

Photoshop Tutorial Image Effect #001

Aku GAGAL!

Kenapa kita sering dipergunakan?

...

Bila Bercinta Dengan Bf Orang....

Sweet Sacrifice

Mari Kita Renungkan

Ya Allah, ku mohon pertolonganmu

Hypocrite

Frantic I

This truth drive me into madness

???

Hari-hari Yang Indah

Wanna Say....

Out From Under

Tak Suka

Cool Firefox Adds On

Happy New Year 2009

Rasa Nak Makan....

Free CSS layout

Mari Kita Selamatkan Islam

Updating

I Cant Get No Satisfaction Baby

Aku Benci Kawan Cam S**l...

Twilight

From My Cam

I Know I’m Sucks But At Least I Tried And I’m Tired Now

Hadiah Befday Aku Untuk Tahun Depan 2009

to Damien